MindFULL Memorial Day

Today’s MindFULL Monday is also Memorial Day. I love Memorial Day. It’s a day to consciously remember people  – some have sacrificed for our country and others are simply wonderful people I have had the honor of meeting along the way.

Thoughts of these folks float across my mind, as this long weekend has us doing things around the house. Some house projects are actually meditative for me. Like spackling the patio and laying broken pieces of pottery and tile between the pavers to add color and whimsy to our back yard. All it takes it a little Quickrete and a lot of patience.

As my daughter moves toward a new chapter, I chose to take a plate she had made years ago and integrate it into the patio design. This way the chapter will always be present as we cross the patio to head out to new frontiers.

Our friends have a twist on this story. I love their kitchen chandelier – it has pieces of collected rocks, family jewelry and colorful stones woven into the fixture. Their memories literally hang over them all the time.

Some memories are like that. We take them and over years, re-set them.

To all in my memory today, I say, “Thank You.”  The pieces of knowing you set between my mental pavers have helped make for a colorful and textured landscape. And to those who are no longer with us, you are will always be set in stone.

 What MindFULL memories can you re-set on this special day? Let us know!

Crying Over Chicken Salad

Who are you? said the Caterpillar… “I-I hardly know, Sir, just at present,” Alice replied rather shyly, “at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think  I must have changed several times since then.” – Lewis Carroll Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Such leads the first chapter in the book that is currently serving as my lifeboat through these “weepy weeks.” Aptly named Transitions, Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges, it is the manna from heaven, fallen to feed my tossed about spirit.

“The Weepy Weeks” is the name given by my  daughter to these last two weeks of school. While admittedly ready to leave the small, thoughtful school she has been in for most of her young life, she is also comfortable and clinging to the known. Next year she heads to a large, inner city urban high school. From 15 in her 8th grade graduating class to a Freshman class of 650, the unknown looms on the streets of the city. Exciting and Scary. For both of us.

Sounds familiar for many of us, in different ways, at different times in our lives. That’s because one of the things we can all count on is that at some point, we will be in “transition.” Jobs change, bosses change, births/deaths/ moving houses/cities, aging, illness, etc. happen to all of us.

I can’t tell you the relief I felt when I remembered this phrase, for I could not figure out what was wrong with me. I was so out of my skin and my girlfriend, who always puts things in perspective, said that she and her husband are calling it “crying over chicken salad.” That is how arbitrary and often her tears seemed to flow.

But Bridges reminds us that our tears and confusion are neither arbitrary nor unusual. They are actually part of the three stages of any transition: Endings, The Neutral Zone and The New Beginning.  We are clearly in the Ending phase and “yet how we recognize endings is the key to how we can begin anew.”

The book is elegantly simple yet profoundly insightful. It is actually a quick and helpful read. You will not only be the better for having read it, you will be able to recognize old ways of being and develop new ways of seeing. In your heart you’ll realize that chicken salad can be made 15 ways to Sunday and  that you can make the most out of any way it’s made.

Is there something you have used to help you navigate change? Let us know!

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

I saw this post on Facebook and thought it was pretty funny, til my husband shared a story he heard on NPR about a man named Bernie. You have to read the interview below and then if you can find it, see the movie.

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction In Bernie http://www.npr.org/2012/05/07/152205689/truth-is-stranger-than-fiction-in-bernie?sc=emaf.

I hear the movie is funny, touching and makes you think. After you see it, let us know what you thought!

How do you MindFULLY stop yourself when you get mad? Let us know!

Pull Up a Chair!

Do you have kids heading off to college and need to furnish their dorm room? Know of someone setting up a new home or better yet, find yourself in need of a “Spring Spruce”? If so, how about MindFULLY seeing the chair in the corner of your family room in a new way or hitting your local re-sale shop for possibility!

In our area, Consignment Furniture shops are all the rage.

Check out the chairs below.

I would have walked right by them. Not my style. But one look through my friend Colette’s (www.thehandygirlfriend.com) eyes revealed well kept grandmother’s chairs, in great shape, with great bones. And the price? $45 a chair. I spend more than that on a manicure and pedicure.

She bought the chairs for one of her friends, took them to a local upholsterer and had them redone. Sometimes, if you buy fabric through the Upholsterer, you can get a discount. Our guy gives 35% off. And he does a great job. Notice the fabric covered buttons on the finished chairs.

How clever is that? And they look like new. Positioned in her friend’s living room, Colette made them look like they fit with style and purpose. And all in, for less than $500.

Below is a chair I did. My husband and I bought it over 20 years ago for our first apt at a garage sale. It was crushed yellow velvet with tan wood. Bluch. I painted the wood an iridescent silver and chose a traditional fabric with a sheen. The chair cost $75 and the fabric and labor, all in, was around $300. We still use it.

So, the next time you plop down in your old chair that smells like animal or displays arm stains where your elbows rest, check out my favorite idea site www.houzz.comThere you can find tons of ideas on fabric, styles and details. (Warning: When you make your fabric selection, make sure you get a sample of the fabric first. Approving it before they put it on your furniture can avoid unwanted surprises. A lesson I learned the hard way. Sometimes dye lots change or the texture isn’t what you really wanted.)

Have fun with this! Everyone deserves a chair to curl up in, why not make one you love? After all, for the cost of  a day at the Spa, you can have a feeling of ease in your special chair everyday.

How have you MindFULLY breathed new life into something old? Let us know!

 

 

The Power of Prayer

Sometimes I find when I am thinking really hard about someone or something, the person is either in touch or I read something that resonates within me.

Such was the case tonight as I laid in bed tossing and turning, blaming my lack of sleep on my husband’s snoring.

But the truth is, it’s not his breath that  kept me up, it was my worry. I couldn’t stop thinking about my lovely neighbor who is going to have some serious surgery tomorrow.

I decided to get out of bed and putz around. I checked my email and there was a wonderful message from a friend who has taught me to look for the synchronicities in life. Here was one of them, for  embedded in her email was the following:

There has been sufficient research to document the power of prayer to effect healing. People who pray are healthier and people who are prayed for recover more quickly and completely, whether they know they are being prayed for or not. Take a peek at Larry Dossey’s books, particularly, Prayer is Good Medicine. There are so many stories of people who were healed through love and prayer.

I remembered about the Power of Prayer and closed my eyes. But in the face of the truth, my trust is called into question. Do I believe she will be OK? I pray she will be. I love her. Am I afraid that she will not make it? Even she called it out today as I stood on her porch, hugging her hard.

She gave me a few sprigs from her garden. From my study I look into her backyard, grown beautiful from years of tending.  I gave her leftover lamb cigars our friend made last night. All I can offer is food. She helps me garden and there hasn’t been time to start my tutorial.

But it wasn’t so much the things we shared today, although simple in their exchange. It was the love and tenderness born out of an instant connection we felt as soon as I moved in. My comfort here has much to do with the sound of my neighbor singing my name when I see her. Everyday at 530pm, I look for the light in her kitchen window to appear. And somehow it makes me feel safe. Every morning when I wake up, the kitchen light is on – and I flip on the coffee pot with a smile.

So, if you please, take a moment and say a prayer for a lady you have never met, but one I am the better for knowing. Make today a true MindFULL Monday. Put out a moment of love and healing for someone and know, that should you need the power of prayer someday, that when she heals, she shall do the same for you.

 Have you had a MindFULL prayer experience? Let us know.

 

Flip This Closet

It’s been a few weeks since last I posted. My energy has been stalled. Confused by the warm weather, I couldn’t quite rumble. I truly am a Seasonal Girl. On Wednesday, it was 75 degrees. And it was early April. I was still in jeans, sweaters and suede.

Last weekend, lulled into the sense that winter was really over and I’d best get with it, I “flipped my closet,” a  ritual since childhood. For me, there is something about cleaning and organizing my closet that brings me out of the hibernating cycle of dark winter days, or guides me back from lazy summer weeks into the longer eves of Fall.

I confess, I am also still guided by “no white before Memorial Day and no linen after Labor Day.” Rumor has it that as the climate changes, so goes the rule. For me, it remains steadfast.  It is my touchstone to an era gone by. An era I miss (a blog for another Monday).

Limited by space in this new old house of ours, I now have to thoughtfully assess each item. In or out? If I have to justify something about the article, “out” it goes, into the Goodwill bag.

It seems as if other women in my area see Goodwill as the repository for “out” as well and Goodwill “gets it”. Just up the street, in a fashionable and expensive neighborhood of upscale restaurants and boutiques, Goodwill opened DeJaBlue’. One peek through the colorfully arranged windows revealed summer skirts I swear I had seen before in the flanking shops of this new concept store.

It’s like trading clothes with your girlfriends.

Such was also the concept of the Goodwill Exchange that my daughter and I attended at the Exhibit Center last month. For a fee of $25, attendees were invited to bring 10 items to swap post a fashion show of Goodwill items re-purposed into new and exciting outfits. They had lavish buffet tables, cocktails, pounding music and a runway, graced by the designers of Goodwill fashion pieces and judged by Mondo Guerra, a Project Runway runner up and local celeb. Great concept, until after the show when all 1,500 attendees were let loose to “pick 10 new pieces for the 10 they brought” from 100’s of racks scattered around the rooms. It was a stampede and all of a sudden old clothes took on a new sheen. It was as if everyone feared being naked the next day if they didn’t grab something in the frenzy. It was mayhem.

Lucky for me, I found one new denim shirt, which truth be told, I haven’t even worn yet. If it doesn’t make it off the hanger by the end of summer, I will have to live by my own rule and pass it back to make room for Fall’s new finds. Sure hope it fits.

How do you MindFULLY mark the changing of the seasons? Let us know!

Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make Me A Match

…Find me a find, catch me a catch (hum along). Matchmaker, Matchmaker, look in your book and make me a perfect Match.”

Are you married? Have you ever looked at your Spouse and wondered how you really met her/him and what it was that made you think that this could be the person you could literally spend the rest of your life with?

It’s kinda crazy when you really think about it.

Such was the conversation about how people meet people today, that led me to a lecture given by Rachel Greenwald, Matchmaker and Author of Find A Husband After 35 Using What I Learned At Harvard Business School.

I went, not for me, but with a friend who would like to meet someone special. With so many ways to meet people today, the question becomes, “How does one go about finding someone special, especially after we begin to age and “special” becomes even more “special” in the eye of the beholder?”

One way is using Rachels’s “15-step program to find a wonderful husband… an innovative approach to the frustrating reality of being single at any age, from your 30’s to your 80’s….”

Coincidentally, the morning of the lecture, I received an email from a friend, who was passing along the email of HER friend, who had come up with yet another way:

“It’s helped me grow my business. It’s helped me raise money. Now I hope it helps me find a guy. So yeah, I wanna know who you know. Not your run-of-the-mill email request? Maybe, but I’m not looking for a run-of-the-mill guy, and I’ve decided to shout it from my desktop. Can you help me by contacting eligible men, or friends who may know someone eligible? If the sheer fun of playing matchmaker isn’t enough incentive, I’ll raffle off an iPad 2 for all who play along! And of course, when you need assistance for your business endeavor, job search, recipe swap or charitable cause, sign me up!

Her letter went on (f you are really interested in reading it, let me know and I will pass it on to you).

And, then a 3rd way. While at a Farmer’s Market recently, the Knife Sharpening Man had his card prominently displayed:

All I really wish for folks who would like to find someone to share their time with, is that they do. I try and connect people where and when I can, but my pool is shrinking as my world becomes less populated. I love that Rachel continues to try and help using her “method”,  that my friend’s friend just puts it out there and this man steps outside the box to attract what he wants.

After all, finding each other isn’t easy. But, it seems there are more ways than ever to connect and thankfully, we no longer have to rely on the Town Matchmaker. That should make it easier. And at least, more fun.

How have you MindFULLY met someone special?  Let us know!

Enriching Minds Want To Know

At the beginning of the year, I decided to create a year long theme vs making resolutions that I was bound to break by month’s end. It seems a theme is easier to use as rails for evaluating interest. Resolutions are hard and fast.

My theme for 2012 is Enrichment. 

Having just cleared my plate of most everything that has kept me “busy” for the last few years (Boards, moving, renovating, Bat Mitzvah planning and school participation), I find myself with the freedom to choose what’s next.  I need to refuel. Ya know, fill up the old gas tank. It has been running for miles and desperately needs fresh oil and some detailing. It’s been a long road.

I don’t want to do just anything. I want to MindFULLY add in activities. However, being MindFULL about “next” takes time and it can’t come being isolated in the house during cold winter days.

Or can it?

Lucky for me there are many sources for inspiration. Today I am listing two (and one I look forward to) and as the weeks go on, will share more.

1.  TED. Ted is a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. There are videos galore with amazing people and topics to educate and delight. A video a day, helps keep inertia away! www.ted.com

2. Pinterest. Here is a site where I can spend hours just looking at ideas. Pinterest is a virtual worldwide bulletin board. You go on and set up your own boards (categories) and then scour (follow) the boards of others and “repin” what you find onto your own boards. I have home, food, party ideas, fashion , great sayings, books and music on mine. And I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface. www.pinterest.com

3. Coming Soon: MIT classes, for FREE, on line!

Wow. Classes at MIT, for FREE? Its not just a school for engineering types. There are so many wonderful departments (art, psychology the world famous Media Lab). Who knew? http://www.forbes.com/sites/jamesmarshallcrotty/2011/12/21/m-i-t-game-changer-free-online-education-for-all/

If you know of other sites that delight and inspire, please share! Afterall, how can we MindFULLY fill our minds with new ideas if we keep on doing what we’ve always done?

What sites do you like for MindFULL Enrichment? Let us know!

MindFULL Attitude

This year of heading toward 50 has many of my friends chatting about growing old with style and grace. I’m definitely struggling. Too old to wear my Bean loafers anymore, I wistfully admire those of my friends who make it look effortless.

Last week, in the parking lot of Target, I saw the most stylish and beautiful older woman (I’ll bet she was 75). Silver Salon hair, big Dionne Von Furstenberg glasses, a short black and white hounds tooth skirt, black tights, small heeled loafers and a red wool swing coat.

I wanna look like THATwhen I grow up.

And if she wasn’t a sign enough, I came home to the link below from my friend, Colette. It’s a long trailer for an upcoming documentary about stylish New York older ladies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWKTfqivbRQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

All this talk about growing old with style and grace has made me think about my Bobie (Yiddish for grandmother). Til her very end, at 96, she always “got dressed” and added her pearls and red lipstick. She was a real fashion plate. I think of her often and laugh out loud with the ladies in the film. I love them! Their attitudes and color delight my senses.

Maybe it’s really not about what you wear, but how you put it together and carry yourself. Perhaps if I had a pair of those fabulous Diane VF glasses, then the real, underlying concern of my eye bags, wouldn’t matter and I could focus on what was really important.

Afterall, didn’t Coco say it’s all in the accessories, any way?

How do you go about developing a MindFULL style? Let us know?  

Where There’s A Will, There’s A Way

Last week, I sat in the parking lot of the grocery store wondering, “Am I missing something?”

I had just gotten an alert from my bank that a check I had written from a money market fund to my checking account had been returned. “That’s weird,” I thought. I knew there were sufficient funds because they are on the sacred  “Spreadsheet”. I called my husband and couldn’t get hold of him. He was away on business – hmmm, in Vegas – hmmm, for the 2nd week in a row… and then, as I started to think of all the reasons this could be happening, I started MSUing (making stories up).

The characters in my story now included a pole dancer and an empty bank account.

That story ended when my husband called back and brought me back to reality. The money was safe, but in a different account based on some changes we are making. He’s usually really good at letting me know about these things, but it has been a busy few weeks, and he really was in meetings from morning to night over the last few days. He simply figured we’d catch up on everything over the weekend.

Hey, stories happen.  In her book, Money A Memoir, Liz tells the story of how she went from being the dependent wife of an investment banker to learning the hard way how to mange her own financial life. I won’t tell you the details. I’ll leave it up to your imagination. Suffice to say, her story is painful and inspiring.

Begs the question: do YOU know what’s in your bank account?

Staying on top of financial details, whether in a committed relationship or living on ones’ own, is a large task. Do you have a list of where everything is? Does someone besides you have a copy? Do your friends know who to call if there is an emergency? Does someone else know where you have hidden the key to the safety deposit box?

The other night, I was with some ladies and somehow the conversation came around to who takes care of “the details.” One of them said her family doesn’t have a Will because she and her husband can’t agree on who should take the kids. I almost spit my wine through my nose. I was once told that if you don’t have a Will and something happens to you and your spouse, then the State takes your kids and your family has to fight the State for custody. If that isn’t enough to make you decide, put it in writing and tell someone how to find it, well, I don’t know what is.

The bottom line: stories happen. You don’t always get to make them up. But you can make sure that all the characters are on the same page. After all, cleaning up a financial mess is a nightmare. Better to write the story you want to tell and leave those you love with a happy ending.

How do you MindFULLY keep track of what is where in your life? Let us know!