Turn Your Wine Glass Upside Down and Your Life Rightside Up

Being a professionally successful woman can have its pitfalls. Along with stress, there are deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy. This manifests in anxiety, fear, and shame. Drinking is a quick, easy, and [seemingly] harmless way to take the edge off. But it causes way more harm than it does good. 

Last Fall, my friend Lisa introduced me to Kay Allison. Kay is a powerhouse. She is dynamic in energy, thoughtfulness and looks. Her story blew me away and inspired me to learn more about her and about what it means to be Sober Curious. Once I learned the phrase, I started to notice how many people I was meeting who are Sober! When Kay came to visit, she brought me an advanced copy of her book, Juicy AF* (*Alcohol Free). Stop The Drinking Spiral. Create Your Future. Juicy AF* (*Alcohol-Free) is a step-by-step guide to help address the unique issues that underlie women’s drinking. Kay’s insights, stories, and practical tools are helping women step out of their fear, anxiety, and shame and into their Juicy AF life to reach their full potential. I sat down, read the book and walked away with several things to think about. I’m still thinking!

Today, Kay is an author, entrepreneur, and innovator behind Juicy AF* (*Alcohol-Free), and in our MindFULL conversation she tells us how her life took off once she embarked on her alcohol-free journey, how her income multiplied by 600%, how she created multi-million dollar companies, and how she met the love of her life just by giving up drinking! Now she’s helping women step out of their fear and into their full potential. If you think you need to change your story or relationship to drinking, Kay is the person to help you.

You can hear our conversation here and check out Kay’s book here. May this MindFULL conversation fill your mind with something new and your glass with something unexpected.

HeartFULL Gratitude

Robin Glickstein. January 13, 2020. Photo by Ellen Jaskol.

I wanted to take this MindFULL Moment to express my gratitude to each and every one of you for listening to MindFULL conversations. What a year it has been and I could not have done this without you! You have given me good cheer and space to try and learn, and fail, and try again. My heart is so FULL. Thank you! I wish you all a few weeks of moments that lighten your hearts and fill your minds with words, music, books, stories and memories. We’ll be back in January to share what filled our minds and look forward to continuing our MindFULL conversations.

Listen to A MindFULL Musing of Gratitude here

xo, Robin

Free The Monkey!

I love signs. Both metaphorically and physically. I look for them everywhere. When the clock strikes 11:11 (which is crazy that I happen to notice it so often), I see it as a sign to set an intention. Years ago I made this little reminder sign and keep it on my shelf – Choice. It’s Yours. Use it.

sign

So it was a sign to me that on Saturday, Ken and I happened to take a road trip to Salida, a small creative town about 2.5 hours from Denver. We had never been and were looking for something different to do for our anniversary (after 28 of em, you have to keep coming up with new ideas, right?) It was a beautiful, vast blue sky, open plains kinda drive. Along the way, we played music and shared stories from the week.

I told him how I learned an awesome metaphorical story from one of my favorite people, and Kabbalah teacher, David. David and I had been talking about Letting Go. He told me about the study of monkeys in the jungle and their bananas. Seems traps were set by placing bananas in cages with small slits just big enough for the monkey to put his hand through and grab a banana. The kicker came as the monkey, while holding tight to the banana tried to pull his hand back out. No can do. The tighter the grip, the less space to pull, and thus, the monkey was stuck.

All the monkey had to do to be free was let go of the banana.

So imagine, my delight when strolling the Salida Art Walk a few hours later and Ken pointed out this sign!

monkey

The next day, at 11:11, I set an intention to Let Go and “drop” several bananas. Here’s to one free Monkey!

How do you MindFULLY Let Go ? Let us know!

If These Walls Could Talk

It has been quite a while since last I posted. I’ve been busy with work, travel, transition of my only child’s college launch, and a Mom who has needed a little extra loving. But I am excited to spring with Spring and to begin to re-imagine The MindFULL Creative. Please bear with me. The creative process takes time and I am learning new skills, finding new ways, and pondering my own NEXT.

While I’ve been out and about, I’ve spent some extra time at my Mom’s house. Sad for me, we live quite a distance from each other. If we lived closer we’d be together more often. You see, I scored. I like my Mom, as much as I love her. She is warm, creative, funny, willing to own her stuff and wise. All over her house she has post it notes, signs, cartoons, postcards and sayings on almost every surface.

me and mom

There is much on her walls to learn from and ponder.

I took a picture of this magazine article taped to her study door. The page is yellow with time. The words wrap around the wall, but if you can see them, you can read them. And if you read them, you’ll “see” more.

moms wall

I am also popping in a link to an article I came across at some point and saved. Sorry for not giving credit where credit is due. The article asked 21 people to share something someone said that forever changed their way of thinking.

http://www.knowable.com/a/21-people-share-something-someone-said-that-forever-changed-their-way-of-thinkin

I love to collect words of wisdom. I have journals filled with thoughts and teachings from some incredible folks I have known for lifetimes, and other I have met along the way. Over the next few weeks, as I MindFULLY work my way back into posting, I will share the musings of some of these special people. In the meantime, give a listen to your walls. If they could speak, what would they teach you?

Have you ever heard something that changed your MindFULL perspective?
Let us know!

Caveat: This post is for TMC readers who have kids heading to college this Fall, or may already be there. For the rest of my wonderful readers, TMC will be back on track in September with lots of MindFULL Creative ideas to share!

I’m gonna make this post short and sweet. My bandwidth is rather narrow these days. With my daughter’s imminent departure for college fast approaching, my chest is tight, my heart is full and my eyes are brimming with the tears of pride and sadness. Thank goodness for my friends and family who have walked the path before us. Their support, wisdom and loving kindness have been invaluable.

This weekend, Auntie Karen and Niece Miriam visited. A rising college Junior, Miriam had much to share. One of the best pieces of advice she got and passed on: “You’re gonna have bad days. Just like you did at home. And it doesn’t mean it’s the wrong fit or anything major. It’s just a bad day in a different place.”

addieKarenmiri

There is so much info out there, so as we say, “Take the best and leave the rest” — I’m sharing two of the best saving graces I have received over the last few months: Letting Go (Fifth Edition): A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years, by Karen Levin Coburn and an article, written by an old friend’s darling, smart and honest son, James Keane, about his freshman year at Northwestern. http://time.com/3896431/to-the-freshman-class-of-2015-its-ok-if-everythings-great-is-a-lie/
In my mind, and on my desktop (Well before DT used it), The Rolling Stones song
You Can’t Always Get What You Want keeps playing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zgAWHRJC1Y

It’s a MindFULL reminder…with dear friends, honest resources, and a whole lot of Faith, ya get what ya need.

How are you MindFULLY navigating kids and college? Let us know!

MindFULL Summah Inspahration

Ahh…finally. The dog days of summer have rolled in, and with them blooms of inspiration abound. As I clean off my iPad and iPhone, making way for new pics and memories, podcasts, books and a few TV shows, I feel the soft slow beat of ease.

Two fun TV shows fill my iPad: Season 2 Grace and Frankie and comedian W. Kamau Bell’s show The United Shades of America on CNN.

Grace and Frankie’s second season may not be as juicy as the first, but the music is still terrific and Lily Tomlin’s clothes relate-able. From her closet I discovered, Sleevey Wonders, ½ shirts you can wear under sleeveless tops and dresses to hide your Haddasah arms (www.sleeveywonders.com) I think she wears a full (and expensive) version, but these are just as good and less bulky.

IMG_3759[1]

The Grace and Frankie Season 2 Playlist is at www.tunefind.com/show/grace-and-frankie/season-2

Then there is W. Kamau Bell’s The United Shades of America on CNN. The comedian takes you on a 1 hour journey to places you might not have thought to go: Inside the KKK, behind prison walls, on a beat  with cops in Camden, NJ to name a few. Last night we went to Alaska. Bell brings a perspective and sense of humor to another side of people and places. My daughter turned us onto him and now we watch as a family.

But… we can’t spend all of our time glued to a screen. While there are tons of lists for the perfect summer read, the two books I am taking on vacation are The Point of Vanishing, a memoir of two years in solitude by Howard Axelrod and Death In The Off Season by Francine Mathews. Francine is an inspirational friend and an entertaining and educational writer – from her Jane Austen series, to her historical fiction books on JFK and Ian Fleming, to these new summer page turners set on the shores of New England. If I can’t get there in person, this is the next best way of smelling the sea air as I cut just one more slice of blueberry pie and pretend.

My mom turned me onto Axelrod’s book, a memoir depicting his tale of a pickup game of basketball at the end of his junior year at Harvard, and a slight of hand that left him permanently blinded in his right eye. My mom, ever so cute and creative, chose it for her book club to read and then hosted the meeting and gave everyone a patch to cover their right eye with as they discussed his experience.

As I pack my bag for vacation, I am abuzz with the anticipation of entry into new worlds and their notings in my trusty travel journal, thanks to Judith Cassel-Mamet and her ever creative blog jcmamet.com. Let the filling of pages begin!

What are you MindFULLY watching, reading and listening to this summer?

Let us know!

Beautiful

What do sex, faith and race all have in common? Your perception of each relies on your perspective.

I LOVE this! Not only because it was a question posed by a Senior high school boy for whom I hold high regard, but because his answer gave me much to think about while standing in an open field, holding a piece of painted metal in the hot morning sun. Rather than melt, I was cooled by the “aha” of how much I value perception, perspective and the heartfelt knowing of who stands for me, and for whom I stand.

Last week, at 9pm, an email from a mom I had known since my daughter’s days at her K-8 school came in. Help! Her son had bumped up against the deadline of his Senior Project and he needed several pairs of hands the next day to help finish it out. Without asking why or for what, I immediately responded Yes. To me, it wasn’t about the details, but the act of showing up for a friend and simply doing what was needed – something I personally place a high value on.

The next morning, with curiosity and delight, we Moms found ourselves in a large wet grassy field in the rolling and beautiful back valley of a local school, moving as directed – to the right, to the left, a little higher and a little lower. Turns out the project, built on learnings from The Beautiful Project, was the brainchild of this young man we had watched grow from a gangly, bright little middle school boy into a thoughtful, smart, handsome and quirky young man. I loved his project – he wrote poems and short stories about perception and perspective when one looks at sex, faith and race and then physically cut metal pieces, hand painted them and used his talent for math and science to parcel each piece individually, so that when standing at a distance, different pieces made up the words Sex, Faith and Race. One big giant metaphor.

IMG_3715[2]

As I stood there and laughed, I also stood there and wept.

I wept for his creative brilliance. I wept for the support and sincere good cheer this group of moms gave to each other and to these kids over the last 12 years (and for the amazing and loving friends and family who showed up for my daughter over the last few weeks to celebrate her high school graduation). I wept for the friend who taught our children creative applications to intellectual challenges, and was no longer living to see us all standing in the field. I wept for the end of this era. I wept for the future this young man had in front of him, and how special it was that he would leave his legacy in the grassy fields of his high school.

Touched to my core, I raised my metal piece high, and low, and side to side. And when I was done, I left with my own new perspective. Amazing what our kids can teach us.

Who do you MindFULLY stand for and who stands for you? Let us know!

 

 

Hallowed Halls of High School

IMG_3570[1]

Have you ever laughed so hard that you thought you might wet your pants?

I have. On more than one occasion. And usually that occasion involves an old friend from high school.

I graduated from high school a very long time ago. I’m beyond blessed to still be in touch with some wonderful people from that time in my life. And as my own daughter marches toward High School graduation in less than a month, I can’t help but to be flooded with observations, insights and memories.

OK, according to old friends, maybe not so many memories. Recently they reminded me of prom fiascos, adolescent dramas and people who I swear I would not remember if they fell in my soup. For better or worse, I didn’t remember many of their tales.

But amidst the belly laughs I’ve had with them recently, I also had a belly ache when I learned of the death of one of the more prominent figures of those hazy high school days. Not that I had seen this old friend since college, but to learn his life had not been easy, wasn’t enough to erase the picture of a young, sweet, handsome boy my girlfriend had loved in high school.

As my daughter has both feet out the door and both arms wrapped around our legs, it has been a year of constant thoughts and body memories. And according to Why You Truly Never Leave High School, an old New Yorker article I re-discovered recently, there is good reason.

http://nymag.com/news/features/high-school-2013-1/

Take a read, and if you care to, let your mind wander. Maybe you have no interest in going back there. Maybe you’re curious with time and distance. See what comes up and if you want, how you remember that time in your life. Then, try and find a friend or family member from that time and see how they remember it. Chances are, you will gain insight into something of today that connects back to a year you rarely think of.

Then, be kind to yourself and cheer the person you have grown to be, understand that it’s natural for grown people to sometimes act like they are still in high school, and maybe call an old friend and reconnect.

And along the way, don’t forget to laugh…

How do you MindFULLY remember High School? Let us know!

 

 

 

 

IMG_3521[1]

I was recently reminded of the oldie but goodie, Autobiography in Five Paragraphs. Once again I was faced with a situation that would have brought me to the edge of the hole, had I not been that road before. And before. And before.

But this time, I recognized the road traveled. And it was actually a no-brainer to make a left turn. I had come to learn that there was another way of looking at the street I was on, something different to see and often, someone new to meet. Pride, relief and a smidge of gratitude wafted up from my toes.

Sometimes you just have to adjust your internal GPS and trust that a new way can lead you home. And if you can’t find your way? It’s OK to ask for directions.

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit… but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

 Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

– Portia Nelson

How do you know when to MindFULLY walk down a different road?

Let us know!

JOY

Last weekend we saw the movie,  JOY. I went in wanting to love it. As someone who barely showers without having an idea, I thought it would motivate me.

It did.

But not in the way I thought it would.

And therein lies one of my favorite life learnings — “You always get what you want, it’s just not always in the package you think it’s going to come in.”

I thought the movie was good, but I didn’t love Jennifer Lawrence. She seemed too young and pretty to be the real Joy, whom I had seen interviewed. And while I could spend the day looking at Bradley Cooper, again I didn’t see him in the role. It all felt too predictable.

The part that felt motivating was yes, in a small way, to continue my journey toward making my own dreams a reality, but also … to organize my closet, yet again! As I was walking through Bed Bath and Beyond, I saw the JOY display. They are really milking the marketing. And I bought right in. Those skinny, purple velvet hangers called my name. As one with a small closet and not a lot of room, I am constantly cleaning out and trying to keep my few things in order. The hangers promised to double my space. Not so sure they did that, but everything is now hanging at a level eye and nothing is slipping off onto the floor. Opening my closet and seeing everything nicely hung, brings me joy. And I love that the hangers are purple and say JOY. What a wonderful thing to see when I take something out. Looking at the hanger reminds me of how lucky I am to have something I en-joy wearing.

 

After re-doing my closet and reflecting on the story,  what I also came away loving was the connection I felt to the movie itself and as such, to my friend Sharon, whom I miss madly. Her brother, Alan, edited the film and the very last credit read: In Loving Memory of Sharon Baumgarten Maifeld (and two others). Sharon always made me laugh, lighten up and reframe my feelings. My joy at having had such a loving friend in my life for so long is twinged with sadness, but joy seeps in when I wear some of the things she left me and I am able to channel her wisdom and love.

So, the next time you go to a movie and hold an expectation, see if you can expand your perspective a little. It may hold something different for you. Then again, you might simply en-joy it.

 What MindFULLY brings you joy? Let us know!