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Bring Back Boredom

Children learn from, and are changed by, the media they use. It begs the question, how many of you have any idea of the number of texts your kids send or how many hours a day they are truly involved, on-line, in some way? Have you really played their video games with them? Would it surprise you to know about a recent study showing that 8-18 year olds use media for 7:38 each day? With multi-tasking, they are exposed to 10:45 of media content each day. “That’s alot o’ screen time, Lucy…”

These facts, and other insightful observations, came to me Thursday night, when I had the honor of attending a speech being given to Denver Pediatricians by Dr. Michael Rich, Director of Center on Media and Child Health (CMCH), at Children’s Hospital Boston. www.cmch.tv. Dr. Rich is a Hollywood writer, turned Pediatrician, who has become an expert on the health effects of social media on adolescents. CMCH studies the environments kids are growing up in and the acquired health risk behaviors as a result of screen time. Michael’s work inspired me years ago, when I was fresh out of graduate school with my Masters in Technology in Education. The way we met is hysterical, but the way his work has influenced my life as a parent is profound.

How kids take in information and what they do it with it, is not for the faint of heart. Norms are shifting in our culture because kids are not paying rapt attention to what they are doing on-line; they multi-task and information filters in. Kids brains don’t turn off and what they are playing, or barely watching, gets absorbed. Take video games for example; the more time kids are exposed, the higher the correlation to violence. Just look at the huge bullying epidemic in schools today. Virtual violence desensitizes kids and can bring on violent behavior, fears, nightmares and even PSTD.

Entertainment media is the #1 way kids get their information. As such, it is so important for us, as parents, to understand the media world and to ensure that our children are “Media Literate”. Teen sex urges and curiosity, plus clueless adults, plus no executive function or future thinking capabilities for adolescents, spreads the perfect storm. Information moves fast today and it is important for all of us to understand what it is made of and how to manage it. One way to do that is talk with your kids about what they are watching on TV (shows and commercials), at the movies and on-line. 5 questions Michael suggests using to engage in Media Literacy at home are:

Who is really the seller and what are they selling?
What techniques are used to attract your attention?
What lifestyles values and points are they presenting?
How might different people interpret the message (other races, cultures, orientations)?
What is omitted from this message?

He also suggested that another way to engage with your kids is to STACK the deck you are using to understand what’s going on:

Share media you love with your kids

Think about what the media is teaching, not just the content but in the relations it is making

Advise on and discuss what they learn

Control content and time

Know and teach media mastery

So much time spent glued to tvs, computers and phones, puts us all in jeopardy of losing our ability to let our minds wander and create new ideas. Studies show that kids (and adults) spend more time inside and less time playing outside. And yet it is so necessary to watch the clouds pass by, the ants build a house or bang around in nature for the afternoon. Down brain leads to innovation and inspiration. Bring back boredom. Bring up awareness.

Check out the CMCH Website at www.cmch.tv. It’s full of amazing tips and advice for navigating this new world. You can also join CMCH on Facebook and “Ask The Mediatirician” at www.askthemediatrician.org – Michael is the Pediatrician behind the screen and will answer any questions or concerns you have (i.e., “My kid used to be so social and now is withdrawn and listens to his iPod all day”).

Lucky for us, we have access to helpful information. If you have a question, it could take weeks to get into see your kid’s Pediatrician — and I saw some of Denver’s finest at the lecture. Dr. Rich is where they are getting their advice – and it’s where you can get yours, too.

How do you MIndFULLY navigate media with your kids? Let us know!

Pilates 9-5

Today’s MindFULL Monday Musing finds us pondering what we can do when we we hit the mid-afternoon lull. Lamenting my 3:30pm tiredness last week, my muse and Pilates instructor, Alison Franco of Pilates with Alison& Friends , mentioned there are a few quick moves I could do that might help give me the energy boost I am looking for. You can do these NINE Pilates moves almost anywhere, in just FIVE minutes! Read on for a few of her favorite mid-day refreshers demonstrated by Susan Ely, friend of the studio and avid Pilates practitioner. Although not a ‘belly buster’ series, these movements do call on and develop core strength, while their key benefits and concentrations are varied.

(For those of you who live in Denver, you should check out Alison’s studio in Wash Park ( http://www.pilateswithalison.com ). It’s in her basement, which is delightful and inviting. I love being down there. Peace washes over me and I am filled with inspiration, on all levels. One level of inspiration is how good my fiend Kim looks after working with Alison for the last few months. Go Kim! That vision alone gets me there when I am dragging…)

I hope the simplicity of the moves below will inspire you to take a few minutes to be good to yourself today. You don’t have to put on your exercise clothes. Just take off your shoes and hit the floor — a few of Alison’s moves will help keep you from being scraped off of it.

1) THE FIFTY

Short & sweet version of the classic

Pilates ‘Hundred’ – increases blood circulation, oxygenates your entire body, core focus.

Lie flat on your back with knees at chest, hands palm down at your side. Roll head and shoulders up – gaze goes to center-thigh. Extend legs long at a 90° angle, or slightly lower (small of back stays connected to mat – do not go lower than 45°s), and lift arms a few inches off of mat extending them long at

REPEAT entire set 5 times – or until you’ve completed “50” arm pumps. Focus on core, abdominal control, and ‘scooping’ the belly in, suction cupping navel to your spine – especially as you exhale. May also be modified to table top leg position shown in second photo.

2) ROLL UP

Improves flexibility (lower back, legs/hamstrings), spinal flexion – and it feels ohhh so good!

Lie flat on your back, spine against the floor, hands reaching overhead. INHALE as you slowly roll up off of the floor one vertebrae at a time, reaching hands forward over your feet, creating a C curve or a horseshoe shape in your lower back. EXHALE at exertion, and as you deepen stretch. INHALE as you being to roll back down, ‘lead weighting’ the small of the back to the mat, followed by each successive vertebrae, EXHALING as your shoulders touch the mat. REPEAT 5 times.

3) SINGLE STRAIGHT LEG STRETCH Great leg stretch/lengthener, cardio component if down briskly. Lie flat on your back with both legs extended long, feet up to ceiling. Grasp the back of your right calf with both hands, lower left leg to 45° angle. Lift head/chin to chest, roll shoulders up off of the mat. Widen elbows tugging right leg back towards you, pulse it twice. Switch legs, pull left leg towards you and pulse twice. REPEAT 5 sets/times. Breathing pattern is long and controlled, INHALE SLOWLY as you pulse pulse right, pulse pulse left. EXHALE SLOWLY pulse pulse right, pulse pulse left. Pace is brisk, this one should warm you up!

4) SOFT TOWER AT WALL Wonderful lower back opener Lie on back hands extended at side, with rear end snug against base of wall. Legs extend up the wall, soles of feet rest on wall hip distance apart, knees are softly bent. INHALE as you slowly begin to curl your pelvis inwards, lifting it from the mat. Continue rolling up to neutral bridge position – mindful not to arch lower back. EXHALE as you slowly roll down to the mat. Timing = 8 count to roll up, 8 down. REPEAT 3 times.

5) MERMAID

Lateral extension/stretch, obliques. Sit upright facing side of mat – both legs curled at your right side, knees and ankles stacked on top of one another. Hold right ankle with right hand, left hand reaches up to ceiling, overhead. INHALE as you stretch right, up and over your legs, EXHALE to deepen. INHALE, lift posture upright as you windmill arms overhead, left hand to mat at your left side, right hand reaching overhead stretching to left, EXHALE to deepen stretch. INHALE back upright (engaging obliques to lift) beginning the stretch to right side. REPEAT 3 times, change sides, REPEAT 3 times.

6) TWIST*

Spinal rotation, stretch.

Sit upright and tall on mat with legs and arms extended long in front of you, heels glued together.

INHALE as you rotate to the right opening your arms to a T position, growing taller, twisting further – be sure your heels don’t slip – keep them firmly connected. EXHALE back to starting position. INHALE as you twist/open left, EXHALE back to center starting position. REPEAT 3 times.

*Not advisable for anyone with active back pain, instability, or injury.

7) SWAN *

Extension of spine Lie face down on mat, hands palm down directly under shoulders, legs zipped together and extended long behind you, forehead to mat. INHALE as you reach forward with crown of head, engaging abdominals to support spine, slowly lifting yourself off of mat in an arch, widening chest. EXHALE as you reach forward with head/neck, slowly lowering back down to mat. This should not be felt in lower back, as abdominals are engaged to support – discontinue if you feel any lower back discomfort. *Not advisable for anyone with active back pain, instability, or injury.

8) Child’s Pose Low back release, complimentary to Swan.

After completion of Swan, sit back on your knees, resting buttocks on or near heels. Place forehead on or near mat, arms extended out long in front. Breathe deeply, at least three deep breaths, relax.

9) Plank – Tendon Stretch

Stand upright at one end of your mat, facing the length of mat, with feet in a soft external rotation/heels together. Lift arms overhead. Keeping tail/bum tucked, slowly ‘pour’ down the front of your body like a waterfall, until your hands reach the mat – keeping slight softness in knees. Walk your hands out the length of the mat, until you reach a plank or push-up position, supported on hands and balls of your feet/toes. Be sure to engage abs, creating a ‘sheet’ of support for the lower back, no sagging in lower back – if you need to, elevate hips slightly. Lift your right heel off of the mat high towards the ceiling, stretch your left heel down towards the mat, then return left heel to neutral position and lower right foot back down to mat. Switch legs and repeat. Walk hands back in towards feet, slowly roll up the front of your body until you are standing upright again. REPEAT sequence twice.

Upon completion of second set, while standing upright, reflect on your posture. Engage abdominal ‘scoop’, roll your shoulders (up, back, and then down- maintain the latter ‘down’ position, this is good posture).

Take note of how you feel. Better than five minutes ago, right? Hopefully lighter, more supple, invigorated, and maybe even a little taller!

How do you MindFULLY get a mid-day energy boost? Let us know!

Wise-Women

30 years ago, as I stood in the foyer of our townhouse, clearly having done something wrong (as per usual back then), my mother screamed over the banister, “Just wait, one day you’ll have one, just like you!” – it wasn’t a compliment. And when I was 34 and still without child, she gingerly asked if I was every going to have children and I reminded her of said situation and laughingly said, “Why would I?”

But fortunately for me, I did have children. One, actually. And the joke is on my Mom. My daughter is nothing like I was. I call her my “one-derful.” She is smart like her daddy (and very close with him), funny and fair as the day is long, emotionally endearing and comfortable in her tween skin. I like her immensely. And I love her more than I could have ever imagined.

That’s why I knew I needed help when her thirteenth birthday began to loom. It was obvious to me that some of my choices for her (where to go to HS, where not to go to HS) and silly fears of basic teen behavior (make-up, boys, etc) was “my stuff” bubbling to the surface, not hers. And so I called Susan Klein, an amazing family/kid counselor in our community, and made an appointment (let me know if anyone wants her number). I didn’t foresee needing intense therapy, but knew a few pointers would surely help me navigate the time to come. Luckily, I had also sat on the Board of Smart-Girl for years (www.smart-girl.org), had learned a few things and knew they, too, had amazing resources for girls and moms as they move through this tumultuous time (check them out for helpful info and if you live in Denver, you must attend their luncheon in April on the developing teen brain. It will be amazing!).

My 50 minutes with Susan yielded some great tips. I share them with the hope that all we’ll scream at our own children is “yeehaa!” and that what we see in them is a reflection of their own true selves, not our own wounded teenager.

Susan’s Advice:

The only way to be close to your kids during these years is to ask them questions and become familiar with their experience before going anywhere in your mind about what something means.

At this age, do more listening than talking in order to help understand their experience. Its not yours.

If you hear something that freaks you out, tell them you are concerned and that you are going to sit with it. Put the conversation on hold and take some time to ponder – it will become clear as to whether it is a slippery slope or normal glitch.

Take a Colombo attitude (the TV detective from our childhood). Get curious as if trying to solve a mystery. The mystery is their experience!

“Tell me about that”
“How did it happen?”
“What were you doing?” (watch your tone…)
“ I want you to have choices and I want to understand your experience. Indulge me and help me understand.“
“There is only one way to make a good decision (child’s name) and that is to have ALL the information you need.” – Then its info we as parents can use to reinforce what we want them to know.

If your spouse sees it differently, ask them what they are worried about. They have stuff in this, too! Remember, everyone could use a little support in this job.

Luckily, my mom and I are dear friends today, and I get to pass on to my daughter the spirit of a long line of strong Kyett women (and I hope the Glicksteins, as well; talk about a strong and smart lineage). I pray that is ALL I pass on. As my old and wise friend Barb says, “People tell you who they are. Listen.” Thankfully, so far, all I hear is singing from the bathroom.

How do you MindFULLY navigate with your kids? Let us know!

One New Idea

Just this week, I had no fewer than 7 conversations with fantastic, “successful”, interesting, delightful people who are bored with their lives. If there was one big bed everyone could crawl into, they’d put on their pj’s and scoot under the covers.

But alas, there isn’t. We have to get up. We get to get up! We are lucky we have the luxury to ponder “what Next?” And therefore, I say, “Come on, gang, we can do it. Let’s get up and get dreaming!”

“How?” You might ask. “I don’t know…” However, what I do know is that there are some paths to figuring out what you’d like to do and hopefully, they can lead you to “Next”.

One of those paths is through journaling. Not writing words in a book, blah, blah, blah, but writing, creating, gluing, drawing and thinking as your hands move. No censoring. No self badgering as to whether you are an artist. That’s besides the point.

And that is why Judith Cohen-Mamet and her YouTube tutorials are a gem. Judith shows you how to journal and add some fun techniques to a traditionally dry process. Below is a link to the first of a series of video tutorials for mixed media journal techniques. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-rfGQDcjXg. After the video, check out the additional helpful hints found on her blog (www.jcmamet.net)

In addition to using Judith’s techniques, consider using colorful crayons to scribble your dreams. Better yet, MAKE the crayons. I saw this technique on a friend’s Facebook page and thought it was so different. And how do you break the boredom cycle? BY DOING ONE SIMPLE THING IN A DIFFERENT WAY. One thing. Try it!

– soak the crayons in warm water (the wrappers come off much more easily this way)
– break into smallish pieces
– spray the baking pan with oil for easy remove.

– put in the oven at 250 degrees for 10 minutes
– they’ll be pure liquid when you take them out, but they’ll cool in another 10 minutes and viola, you’re done!

FYI – my friend’s friend got the pan at Crate & Barrel (it’s a whoopie pie pan 🙂

So, this week, try doing one thing differently, rip out one article from a magazine or newspaper that interests you or consider taking one class on a topic you’d like to learn more about. Just ponder one new idea. You don’t have to marry anything. Just explore it. You never know where it might lead. Certainly, it will add to “Next”!

What did you MindFULLY find to add to your “Next”? Let us know!

GroundHog Day

Today is Valentines Day and it is not one of my favorite holidays. Does that make me an unloving person? I sure hope not. For you see, I try and tell the people I love that I care for them, as often as possible. Why do I need a forced day of cards I don’t write or chocolate that we don’t eat?

I buy flowers for myself fairly often. I don’t mind that my husband doesn’t send them – he shows he cares in so many other ways, like doing the laundry and folding my underwear for me, by calling every day at 5:10pm and asking if there is anything I need him to pick up on the way home and by demonstrating patience when he could clearly be annoyed.

Every day, at least 10x before dinner, my daughter walks by me and says, “I love you, mommy.” I don’t need a card to put in a box to remember the sound of her voice. She shares her music with me, tells me her thoughts and feelings and puts her hand on my shoulder when I am sad.

Last night, a young friend of my daughter’s called and asked her if she liked him. She was totally bummed. She likes him as a friend, but found his question awkward and now feels a sense of loss, not gain. She spent the evening in tears. She has just been thrust into that awkward time of young emotion. I’m sure that is not what the folks at Hallmark had in mind.

As I walked the park this morning, I tried to think of all the things I love and all the people that fill my heart with delight. I said thank you to the Universe for the fact that I was walking, that the Rec Center was open so I could use a clean bathroom, that I have friends and family that I profoundly enjoy, that I could afford to shop at Target and that they carry Annies Fruit Snacks and Kelloggs Frosted Mini Wheats and socks so that I only have to make one stop. That Saturday night my husband and I raised a glass to how much we still like each other (24 Valentines Days later) and that my dear friend has finally found love, as well. As I laid beside my daughter last night and listened while she cried, and then watched as her humor re-emerged, I thought, “This is what love feels like”.

There is so much to love in our lives; so many people and so many little things. I pray that each day is a form of Valentines Day and that whether or not I make red food or go years between talking with someone, that my love is known, both to myself and to others.

If you are reading this, I pray that you may know love in whatever way love fits for you. And then, consider making this Valentines Day into Groundhog Day. Live loving moments over and over. Why love only on one day, when there are so many we are so lucky to have?

How do you MindFULLY show someone you love them? Let us know!

New Uses

In the spirit of looking for new uses for old things, I bring you a link to Real Simple magazine. I love this magazine and always find something to rip from the pages.

Since I am away this week, I’ll let the folks at Real Simple do the talking. They have 50 things to say. I hope one of them resonates for you! http://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/new-uses-for-old-things/favorite-new-uses-00000000019718/page38.html

What have you MindFULLY learned to that you can add to Real Simple’s list? Let us know!

Steve Saunders For City Council!

Today’s MindFULL Monday post has a local Denver angle. Sorry dear readers of other cities. It is just too good not to share – our friend, Steve Saunders, is running for City Council!

For more than two decades, we welcomed Steve into our living room as an award winning TV news anchor and reporter. As a journalist, Steve earned a reputation as a hard working, ethical reporter and anchor that continually pushed for stories of substance over flash and hype.

Steve thought about running for City Council for many years, but the time was never right.

After moving from the television industry in 2009 at the height of the economic downturn, Steve was determined to find a job that utilized his communications skills in a meaningful and purposeful way. Steve joined Adams County School District 50 as Director of Communications and Community Relations. As a valued member of the Superintendent’s cabinet, he oversees a department and staff that is focused on the most important task of the day: educating children.

And now, luckily for us, the time is right!

Check out his website: http://www.stevesaundersforcouncil.com and come join Steve as he kicks off this sure to be exciting and meaningFULL campaign.

Thursday, February 3 ● 5:30pm – 7pm
At the Tavern Lowry
7401 E 1st Ave
Denver, CO 80230

Go, Steve, Go! You make a MindFULL difference and we cheer you on!

MeaningFULL Monday

Instead of the usual MindFULL Monday, could we find a way to make today MeaningFULL Monday?

I ask, because you know that feeling when you want to do something really meaningFULL and you realize it is going to take money and time and you aren’t sure how you will find either? How about when you really want to be part of something and someone tells you that you aren’t good enough and then someone else sees your potential and helps you find a way?

Well, in honor of those who see potential in kids and find ways to help them, check out this picture (while it may look like a typical kid’s team pic, it isn’t) and letter I got from Stan last week. I’m sure many of you have heard me refer to Bev and “The Boys” at Bass Pro Shops. Bev, Stan, Sean and John are amongst my all-time favorite clients. Smart, funny and great to work with, these folks always step up to help me with my daughter’s school fundraisers or any conversation someone wants to have with this creative group.

Look at this picture and think of the teams you played on as a kid, and how you remember and still laugh about them. And then, after you are done laughing, read Stan’s note and think about how you might help hit a home-run for a group of kids who wouldn’t even be at bat, if not for the time and dedication this man has given them. I humbly ask, are you part of a company that could underwrite any part? Do you have creative connections that could financially make this trip come true? Do you have kids who are lucky enough to have dedicated adults in their lives and are simply moved to help in some way? If so, let’s make this Monday meaningFULL and find a way to help this team. I promise, it will change your whole week.

Seven years ago, when we moved to Springfield (MO), I signed my son up for t-ball at the local park board recreational league. At the time, he was 5 years old. I was surprised when they told me he could not just sign up and that all of the teams were “organized”. I asked what that meant and they told me that teams recruited kids and had try outs. I said, “for five year olds?” and they said, “yes”, but if I agreed to coach, and take all of the kids that did not have a team, that we could play.

I agreed and for many years we only won a game or two a season. We were the Bad News Bears. But we tried to teach the kids the fundamentals of the game and we got better. In seven years we have never had try outs and we have never turned a kid away. Everyone plays, everyone sits and everyone bats. Over time, we became more competitive and parents begin asking if their boys could play for us because of how we handled the kids.

Our boys are now 11 to 12 and we still play in the rec league. Most of the teams we play against are organized travel teams that play over 100 games each year. Last year we won our Spring League and finished second in the summer leagues and in the final four of the All City Tournament.

This is the last year we will play together, as a few of the boys will have the opportunity to move on to legion ball. The sad state of youth sports today is that many of these boys will not have an opportunity to play the sport they love after this season. Their sports experience will be over at twelve years old. Myself and the other coaches are working to give the boys one last memory of baseball and being part of a team. To this end, we are planning to take them to Cooperstown to stay and play in a tournament for a week in August at the Hall of Fame.

This is where I need your help. I am working to raise approximately $20,000 to cover the expenses for the trip. I would greatly appreciate anything anyone can do to help us out. If you wish to make a donation you can send a check to my attention at the following address:

Defender’s Baseball c/o Stan Lippelman 5326 S. Whitmore Ave Springfield, MO. 65810. Thanks for your consideration and for anything you can do to help create a memory that will last a lifetime.

What are some of your MindFULL and MeaningFULL Memories? Let us know!

Game On

While I usually post on Mondays (check in tomorrow for how you can make a difference this week), I had to pop this off to you today. Last week, I wrote about re-purposing clothes (and life). I figured with all the football games on today, some of you may be looking for something to do with your hands while you watch.

One of my favorite creative musends (a friend who is also a muse), Colette, sent this picture to share with you on the sweater she made for herself (she is the friend who helped me make my sweater and skirt that I showed you last week.) Check out what she did for herself. This was a turtle neck cut “A Symetrical” with a button added. How cute is that!

So, today make it a game to look around and see if anything in your closet could become a new favorite by cutting it up , sewing it differently and adding a little something extra (buttons, felt, ribbons). Not only will you be watching to see who wins a spot at the SuperBowl, you’ll be a winner, too!

What did you find to MindFULLY re-purpose today? Let us know!

MindFULL Repurpose

How many bags of things do you have to give away after last Monday’s posting? Wait! Before you get rid of the clothes you moved to the right, take a peek at how my friends Colette and Susan Kramer inspired me to look at my old clothes with new eyes.

Both women find old clothes, take them apart and put them back together again. Colette finds sweaters at ARC and does it herself at the kitchen counter with a sewing machine. Susan Kramer finds amazing skirts and dresses at Good Will and takes them to the Russian tailor and turns them into show stopping and classy staples (Her secret? Pearls. She wears them every day – either on her ears, or multiple strands around her neck, or on her wrist – but more on the Kramer later).

Yes! You can take that old sweater and make a new one. Cut the granny skirt into a short skirt you can wear with tights and boots. Lose the bows on the back of the back of a dress and make it into a jumper. All you need s is a needle and thread or a good tailor.

The sweater below is a favorite example. It was a typical black Lands End Cotton sweater. Boring. Colette inspired me to change it up. So, I popped off the buttons, sewed both sides under and ironed them flat. Then with thick thread, I hand-sewed on Felt leaves. Felt anything is easily found at Michaels or Joanne Fabrics. Now, I wear this sweater all the time.

The skirt is from Good Will. $4. It went to the floor. Colette cut it off and sewed it right above my knee. I wear it with tights and my sweater. So cute!

But the crowning glory of my creative repurpose is a black dress I got on the Back Rack at Loehmanns for $10. I looked terrible in it – sleeveless and straight is not a good look for me. But I couldn’t pass it up. So, it hung in my closet til last week, when I saw it through new eyes. I cut off the bows and covered up the leftover threads with a sweater. My favorite scarf, a pair of fun tights and black boots gave it a fresh and contemporary look. I wore it twice this week and am taking it to work on Tuesday. It’s my new uniform.

So, now that you are moving things in your life to the left and MindFULLY beginning to think about what you are moving to the right, ask yourself how you can repurpose what you have. Maybe you look at a sweater, a relationship or a kitchen pitcher with new eyes. The sweater gets bedazzled, the relationship becomes a resource vs a confidant and the pitcher turn into a colorful flower vase.

And be of ease and remember, if what you are looking at doesn’t fit, no matter what you do, then thank it and pass it on. One person’s Good Will bag is another person’s ball gown.

What can you MIndFULLY repurpose in your life? Let us know!