Category: Musings and Insights

Half A Million Secrets

Everyone has one (or some). “Secrets can take many forms — they can be shocking, or silly, or soulful.” Says Frank Warren. . Warren is the creator of PostSecret.com, a blog full of secrets anonymously shared via postcard. It’s the most visited advertisement free blog in the world.

What do you think? Could you post your secret there?

I loved this TED talk about the site. http://www.ted.com/talks/frank_warren_half_a_million_secrets.html It stirred something deep inside. I loved how people put their secrets out there. I loved their stories; I imagined how they lead to relief, happiness, connection and lightness.

I once had a secret and it took me years to tell someone I thought should know. When I finally told her during dinner one night, she literally looked at me and said, ‘Really. Hmmm. Well, did you know  ….” And then proceeded to tell me HER story and basically said, “Pass the ketchup.”

All those years and that was the response. Too bad Frank’s blog wasn’t up yet. I sure wasted a lot of energy. Don’t waste yours. Stop by and post your secret. No one will know its yours and yet, everyone will know it. Imagine how good that could feel to let it out. And then, imagine how good it could feel to let something else that lightens your heart, in.

Do you MindFULLY keep your secrets or do they just keep you? Let us know!

 

MindFULL Monday

We returned last night from two fabulous weeks in Spain (Barcelona, Marbella, Madrid). I collected many MindFULL thoughts to share, but at this moment, I am so jet lagged, I can’t think of more than how to make my American coffee and how good it tastes.

However, I am determined to kick my jetlag by re-entering routines and posting on MindFULL Monday is one of them. My last two posts were written and programmed to post while I was away. I forgot this one. So, in the spirit of follow through, I wanted to share a MindFULL Moment.

One of the things I thought about while away was how grateful I was to be able to change our scene. For me, with changed scenery comes change in perspective. I observe new people (their attitudes, clothes, taste), I take in new ideas from my surroundings, I touch places that have come before me and remember that my time here is limited and that i need to make the most of it.

Change in perspective is one of my favorite experiences. It makes my MindFULL Moments that much richer in emotional, physical and spiritual texture.

It was intense before we left. We got mired in the saying good bye to a small, cloistered school that my daughter attended for 10 years. It  brought up ALOT of feelings. It seems silly now, but it was terribly real then. Heading out of our world to a new a country, gave us some perspective. Everyone seems to feel lighter and more hopeful about the future. Worth every mile.

Another way I have found to change my perspective is in the collection of graduation speeches given around this time of year. I offer the link to the speech given by David McCullough Jr., the English Teacher (and son of famed historian David McCullough) at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts. You may have already seen or heard about it?

http://bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1061137286

No matter your reaction, I think it offers another MindFULL perspective. What do you think?

How do you MindFULLY change YOUR perspective? Let us know!

 

 

 

50 Ways To Remember

Ya know the old adage, “When you hear something twice, pay attention”? Well, recently, from two different sources, I was encouraged  to write 50 things I like about myself or am good at or that I’ve done well in my life and read it each day for 50 days (yes, 50 has a significance, wink -wink).

It’s not easy!

And yet, we could easily do it for a friend.

I decided to give it a try. And I have to say, that on days when the clouds blow in and everyone else seems to have it together so much better than I do, I pull it out and remind myself of so many good things I forget to remember.

So, I pass on to you, the same assignment. Give yourself a summer reading list that is sure to top the charts.

After all, you are a Bestseller.

What’s the one thing you are MindFULLY glad you got to write down?

Let us know!

MindFULL Memorial Day

Today’s MindFULL Monday is also Memorial Day. I love Memorial Day. It’s a day to consciously remember people  – some have sacrificed for our country and others are simply wonderful people I have had the honor of meeting along the way.

Thoughts of these folks float across my mind, as this long weekend has us doing things around the house. Some house projects are actually meditative for me. Like spackling the patio and laying broken pieces of pottery and tile between the pavers to add color and whimsy to our back yard. All it takes it a little Quickrete and a lot of patience.

As my daughter moves toward a new chapter, I chose to take a plate she had made years ago and integrate it into the patio design. This way the chapter will always be present as we cross the patio to head out to new frontiers.

Our friends have a twist on this story. I love their kitchen chandelier – it has pieces of collected rocks, family jewelry and colorful stones woven into the fixture. Their memories literally hang over them all the time.

Some memories are like that. We take them and over years, re-set them.

To all in my memory today, I say, “Thank You.”  The pieces of knowing you set between my mental pavers have helped make for a colorful and textured landscape. And to those who are no longer with us, you are will always be set in stone.

 What MindFULL memories can you re-set on this special day? Let us know!

Crying Over Chicken Salad

Who are you? said the Caterpillar… “I-I hardly know, Sir, just at present,” Alice replied rather shyly, “at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think  I must have changed several times since then.” – Lewis Carroll Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Such leads the first chapter in the book that is currently serving as my lifeboat through these “weepy weeks.” Aptly named Transitions, Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges, it is the manna from heaven, fallen to feed my tossed about spirit.

“The Weepy Weeks” is the name given by my  daughter to these last two weeks of school. While admittedly ready to leave the small, thoughtful school she has been in for most of her young life, she is also comfortable and clinging to the known. Next year she heads to a large, inner city urban high school. From 15 in her 8th grade graduating class to a Freshman class of 650, the unknown looms on the streets of the city. Exciting and Scary. For both of us.

Sounds familiar for many of us, in different ways, at different times in our lives. That’s because one of the things we can all count on is that at some point, we will be in “transition.” Jobs change, bosses change, births/deaths/ moving houses/cities, aging, illness, etc. happen to all of us.

I can’t tell you the relief I felt when I remembered this phrase, for I could not figure out what was wrong with me. I was so out of my skin and my girlfriend, who always puts things in perspective, said that she and her husband are calling it “crying over chicken salad.” That is how arbitrary and often her tears seemed to flow.

But Bridges reminds us that our tears and confusion are neither arbitrary nor unusual. They are actually part of the three stages of any transition: Endings, The Neutral Zone and The New Beginning.  We are clearly in the Ending phase and “yet how we recognize endings is the key to how we can begin anew.”

The book is elegantly simple yet profoundly insightful. It is actually a quick and helpful read. You will not only be the better for having read it, you will be able to recognize old ways of being and develop new ways of seeing. In your heart you’ll realize that chicken salad can be made 15 ways to Sunday and  that you can make the most out of any way it’s made.

Is there something you have used to help you navigate change? Let us know!

The Power of Prayer

Sometimes I find when I am thinking really hard about someone or something, the person is either in touch or I read something that resonates within me.

Such was the case tonight as I laid in bed tossing and turning, blaming my lack of sleep on my husband’s snoring.

But the truth is, it’s not his breath that  kept me up, it was my worry. I couldn’t stop thinking about my lovely neighbor who is going to have some serious surgery tomorrow.

I decided to get out of bed and putz around. I checked my email and there was a wonderful message from a friend who has taught me to look for the synchronicities in life. Here was one of them, for  embedded in her email was the following:

There has been sufficient research to document the power of prayer to effect healing. People who pray are healthier and people who are prayed for recover more quickly and completely, whether they know they are being prayed for or not. Take a peek at Larry Dossey’s books, particularly, Prayer is Good Medicine. There are so many stories of people who were healed through love and prayer.

I remembered about the Power of Prayer and closed my eyes. But in the face of the truth, my trust is called into question. Do I believe she will be OK? I pray she will be. I love her. Am I afraid that she will not make it? Even she called it out today as I stood on her porch, hugging her hard.

She gave me a few sprigs from her garden. From my study I look into her backyard, grown beautiful from years of tending.  I gave her leftover lamb cigars our friend made last night. All I can offer is food. She helps me garden and there hasn’t been time to start my tutorial.

But it wasn’t so much the things we shared today, although simple in their exchange. It was the love and tenderness born out of an instant connection we felt as soon as I moved in. My comfort here has much to do with the sound of my neighbor singing my name when I see her. Everyday at 530pm, I look for the light in her kitchen window to appear. And somehow it makes me feel safe. Every morning when I wake up, the kitchen light is on – and I flip on the coffee pot with a smile.

So, if you please, take a moment and say a prayer for a lady you have never met, but one I am the better for knowing. Make today a true MindFULL Monday. Put out a moment of love and healing for someone and know, that should you need the power of prayer someday, that when she heals, she shall do the same for you.

 Have you had a MindFULL prayer experience? Let us know.

 

Flip This Closet

It’s been a few weeks since last I posted. My energy has been stalled. Confused by the warm weather, I couldn’t quite rumble. I truly am a Seasonal Girl. On Wednesday, it was 75 degrees. And it was early April. I was still in jeans, sweaters and suede.

Last weekend, lulled into the sense that winter was really over and I’d best get with it, I “flipped my closet,” a  ritual since childhood. For me, there is something about cleaning and organizing my closet that brings me out of the hibernating cycle of dark winter days, or guides me back from lazy summer weeks into the longer eves of Fall.

I confess, I am also still guided by “no white before Memorial Day and no linen after Labor Day.” Rumor has it that as the climate changes, so goes the rule. For me, it remains steadfast.  It is my touchstone to an era gone by. An era I miss (a blog for another Monday).

Limited by space in this new old house of ours, I now have to thoughtfully assess each item. In or out? If I have to justify something about the article, “out” it goes, into the Goodwill bag.

It seems as if other women in my area see Goodwill as the repository for “out” as well and Goodwill “gets it”. Just up the street, in a fashionable and expensive neighborhood of upscale restaurants and boutiques, Goodwill opened DeJaBlue’. One peek through the colorfully arranged windows revealed summer skirts I swear I had seen before in the flanking shops of this new concept store.

It’s like trading clothes with your girlfriends.

Such was also the concept of the Goodwill Exchange that my daughter and I attended at the Exhibit Center last month. For a fee of $25, attendees were invited to bring 10 items to swap post a fashion show of Goodwill items re-purposed into new and exciting outfits. They had lavish buffet tables, cocktails, pounding music and a runway, graced by the designers of Goodwill fashion pieces and judged by Mondo Guerra, a Project Runway runner up and local celeb. Great concept, until after the show when all 1,500 attendees were let loose to “pick 10 new pieces for the 10 they brought” from 100’s of racks scattered around the rooms. It was a stampede and all of a sudden old clothes took on a new sheen. It was as if everyone feared being naked the next day if they didn’t grab something in the frenzy. It was mayhem.

Lucky for me, I found one new denim shirt, which truth be told, I haven’t even worn yet. If it doesn’t make it off the hanger by the end of summer, I will have to live by my own rule and pass it back to make room for Fall’s new finds. Sure hope it fits.

How do you MindFULLY mark the changing of the seasons? Let us know!

Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make Me A Match

…Find me a find, catch me a catch (hum along). Matchmaker, Matchmaker, look in your book and make me a perfect Match.”

Are you married? Have you ever looked at your Spouse and wondered how you really met her/him and what it was that made you think that this could be the person you could literally spend the rest of your life with?

It’s kinda crazy when you really think about it.

Such was the conversation about how people meet people today, that led me to a lecture given by Rachel Greenwald, Matchmaker and Author of Find A Husband After 35 Using What I Learned At Harvard Business School.

I went, not for me, but with a friend who would like to meet someone special. With so many ways to meet people today, the question becomes, “How does one go about finding someone special, especially after we begin to age and “special” becomes even more “special” in the eye of the beholder?”

One way is using Rachels’s “15-step program to find a wonderful husband… an innovative approach to the frustrating reality of being single at any age, from your 30’s to your 80’s….”

Coincidentally, the morning of the lecture, I received an email from a friend, who was passing along the email of HER friend, who had come up with yet another way:

“It’s helped me grow my business. It’s helped me raise money. Now I hope it helps me find a guy. So yeah, I wanna know who you know. Not your run-of-the-mill email request? Maybe, but I’m not looking for a run-of-the-mill guy, and I’ve decided to shout it from my desktop. Can you help me by contacting eligible men, or friends who may know someone eligible? If the sheer fun of playing matchmaker isn’t enough incentive, I’ll raffle off an iPad 2 for all who play along! And of course, when you need assistance for your business endeavor, job search, recipe swap or charitable cause, sign me up!

Her letter went on (f you are really interested in reading it, let me know and I will pass it on to you).

And, then a 3rd way. While at a Farmer’s Market recently, the Knife Sharpening Man had his card prominently displayed:

All I really wish for folks who would like to find someone to share their time with, is that they do. I try and connect people where and when I can, but my pool is shrinking as my world becomes less populated. I love that Rachel continues to try and help using her “method”,  that my friend’s friend just puts it out there and this man steps outside the box to attract what he wants.

After all, finding each other isn’t easy. But, it seems there are more ways than ever to connect and thankfully, we no longer have to rely on the Town Matchmaker. That should make it easier. And at least, more fun.

How have you MindFULLY met someone special?  Let us know!

Where There’s A Will, There’s A Way

Last week, I sat in the parking lot of the grocery store wondering, “Am I missing something?”

I had just gotten an alert from my bank that a check I had written from a money market fund to my checking account had been returned. “That’s weird,” I thought. I knew there were sufficient funds because they are on the sacred  “Spreadsheet”. I called my husband and couldn’t get hold of him. He was away on business – hmmm, in Vegas – hmmm, for the 2nd week in a row… and then, as I started to think of all the reasons this could be happening, I started MSUing (making stories up).

The characters in my story now included a pole dancer and an empty bank account.

That story ended when my husband called back and brought me back to reality. The money was safe, but in a different account based on some changes we are making. He’s usually really good at letting me know about these things, but it has been a busy few weeks, and he really was in meetings from morning to night over the last few days. He simply figured we’d catch up on everything over the weekend.

Hey, stories happen.  In her book, Money A Memoir, Liz tells the story of how she went from being the dependent wife of an investment banker to learning the hard way how to mange her own financial life. I won’t tell you the details. I’ll leave it up to your imagination. Suffice to say, her story is painful and inspiring.

Begs the question: do YOU know what’s in your bank account?

Staying on top of financial details, whether in a committed relationship or living on ones’ own, is a large task. Do you have a list of where everything is? Does someone besides you have a copy? Do your friends know who to call if there is an emergency? Does someone else know where you have hidden the key to the safety deposit box?

The other night, I was with some ladies and somehow the conversation came around to who takes care of “the details.” One of them said her family doesn’t have a Will because she and her husband can’t agree on who should take the kids. I almost spit my wine through my nose. I was once told that if you don’t have a Will and something happens to you and your spouse, then the State takes your kids and your family has to fight the State for custody. If that isn’t enough to make you decide, put it in writing and tell someone how to find it, well, I don’t know what is.

The bottom line: stories happen. You don’t always get to make them up. But you can make sure that all the characters are on the same page. After all, cleaning up a financial mess is a nightmare. Better to write the story you want to tell and leave those you love with a happy ending.

How do you MindFULLY keep track of what is where in your life? Let us know!

Live and Learn

Does anyone else ever find themselves in the position of having to “know how” before trying something new?

I recently heard a new paradigm: first you do, and then you feel. Uch. Way too often I have led with how I feel, and then I do.

But, last week I tried to take this new advice and put it into action. On my own. I re-designed my blog. This blog is about creative expression and connection for me. A year and a half ago, I came up with the name, made a logo and started posting. It was not an easy step to take. And yet, I did it. Since then, I have focused on the discipline of simply posting on (MindFULL) Mondays. But  for the last few months, I’ve wanted a new look and have not known how to get it.

My usual MO is to think someone else “knows how” and I have to pay to learn. However, after spending some time around friends who are amazing at jumping in and figuring it out, I decided to try and do it myself. I was scared I’d screw it up and that what I had was better than nothing. But that is not the way I want to Be. I want the thrill of knowing I’ve tried.

And so, on Tuesday, I sat down at 9am and gave it a shot. I lifted my head at 2pm, exhilarated that I had a new look! I had taken a ride on the roller-coaster of Flow and found myself in a new place. I felt proud that I got the banner to fit. I felt a little frustrated that I couldn’t do more.  I felt delighted when I figured out how to use Widgets.

I’ve tried many things in my life and can look back and laugh (and cry) at what I’ve achieved and what I’ve fallen flat on. For the last 15 years, on every birthday, I start a new journal and make a list of things I want to check off. I am proud to have manifested quite a few. The outcomes haven’t always been as I had hoped, but the thrill of the effort has definitely stuck. My efforts range from bombing an audition to be a QVC host to getting on-air at a local NPR station as the News and Weather anchor. From getting a graduate degree in my 30’s, after feeling not smart enough for most of my life (the irony is a degree like that doesn’t mean you ARE “smart” – smart can be defined in many ways, thanks to Howard Gardner and his work around Multiple Intelligences) to trying for “dream” jobs in the most creative of ways and not getting them. And yet, here I sit, with all of these experiences leading me down a career path that gives me the honor of working with some of the best and the brightest across domains and industries and hearing the thoughts and feelings over thousands of consumers.

There are some new business ideas in this year’s birthday journal that Id like to explore. At the top of my list is to create a new website and have part of it be around eCommerce. I don’t even know where to begin.

Hmmm…will I wait to feel like I can before trying or will I try and then feel like I can?

 How do you MindFULLY figure out what to do even when you don’t know?

Let us know!