While I usually post on MindFULL Mondays, I took the week off and lounged around. However, yesterday I had a MindFULL Moment and decided that in the spirit of a moment, rather than waiting, I’d post now.
Long story short, I am in a parent/child struggle as old as the hills. My daughter is 13 and is craving more independence. Some days we coast down the hill and others, we struggle up. It is not that I don’t trust her. It’s that the news makes me feel like I can’t trust the world. Time to turn off the TV.
I got it yesterday, when I woke up and set about racing myself to empty the dishwasher before my coffee was done perking. My daughter came down and asked if I could wait til sunrise to finish putting things away, as the clanking of the dishes echoed into her room. No problem. I took out the silver ware basket and put it on the counter, poured a cup of coffee and headed upstairs to take a shower. I had a big day ahead of me – I was “sitting with Chemo” as I’ve come to call the act of visiting while a friend takes her IV drip. I was scared and sad and honored and optimistic. I was a mess.
When I came downstairs 30 minutes later, the basket was empty and a note was attached.
I was stunned and touched. I called her down to thank her and to let her know how much I appreciated her competence and thoughtfulness, of all days. She said, “You are being a good friend today, Mommy.” I almost wept. What I want to be, I told her, is a good Mommy and that I wasn’t feeling so proud of some of my choice words over the last day (Day 13 of Christmas Break – I was feeling a DONE), to which she replied, “You are a good Mommy. But I know you are also a friend and wife and daughter and a sister. Today you have to be Robin the Friend and I can stay alone and will do what I know I have to do (read for school, a load of laundry) and then my friend will come at 1pm to get me and I will text you. It’s OK. You can GO.”
And, so I went. And, so did she.
I needed that MindFULL Moment more than words can describe. It’s not an easy time. Letting go and letting my daughter walk on her own in this world is taking me longer than I thought it would. And it’s not her. It’s me. A laugh in our house was had when the burglar company guy came to install our system and asked my husband if he should put a sensor on our daughter’s window so she doesn’t “climb out. “Ha!” he siad. “You should put it on the master bedroom, not my daughter’s – it’s my wife I d be concerned about first.”
Really, she is going to be fine. I’m clearly the one who could use some help.
So, in the Spirit of “Continuing Adult Education.” I am thinking that next year I will try and find a fun and creative way we can share our MindFULL Moments and learn together. I’ll let you know how/when I figure it out. Until then, may this weekend bring you a MindFULL Moment that takes your breath away and reminds you of all you have to be grateful for.
A Happy and MindFULL New Year to All. Wishing you MindFULL Moments of peace and ease in 2012!