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Souper Sunday

Normally I post on Mondays, (MindFULL Mondays), but as we set the clocks back one hour, I had to find a way to make the dark, cold nights upon us, warmer. So this morning, as I woke up to the bright sun at 6:30am and thought about my day ahead and what to make for Sunday dinner (it’s in my DNA) Souper Sunday came to me.

With a strong need to warm my insides and out, I am planning to have a grand time finding one soup recipe to make every Sunday afternoon (that I can) and one quote to hold as my intention for the week.

To kick off this new Winter tradition, I have chosen my friend Jane’s recipe for Butternut Squash and Leek Soup. Easy to make and delicious!

Butternut Squash and Leek Soup

2 tablespoons unsalted butter
4 leeks with and tender green parts only, coarsely chopped
1 celery rib, chopped
1 garlic clove smashed
1 quart chicken stock
1 large butternut squash peeled and cut into 12 inch dice (3 cups)
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 large bay leaf
Sea salt and freshly ground pepper
14 cup flat leaf parsley leaves
Cream or milk is optional (almost never use)

Melt the butter in a large heavy saucepan. Add the leeks, celery and garlic and cook over moderate heat, stirring occasionally until softened.
Add the stock, squash, tomato paste an bay leaf. Season with salt and pepper and simmer over moderately low heat until all the vegetables are tender about 25 minutes. Discard bay lea. You can leave in or remove the parsley.
Puree the soup. Taste for seasoning.

I am also starting with a quote my mom has on her kitchen counter:

“Ask: What is the most generous thing to do in this case?”

I love her. She is a wonderfully wise, loving and cool mom. The rooms in her beautiful home have quotes on post-it notes tacked to the fridge, walls and bookcases. I always leave her having learned something I am the better for knowing – and feeling warm, inside and out.

How do you MindFULLY deal with the cold, dark afternoons of Winter?

Let us know!

Fall Flip

It’s finally Fall. And with the change in season comes one of my favorite things to do – Flip My Closet! Sounds like a game show. Hmmm, maybe there is something to that?

Today, as I hauled my winter clothes up from the basement and packed my summer clothes to take their place, I was struck by an awareness of how different my flip was this season. Usually I bring it all up, and put it all away. This time, I left some things downstairs and immediately put others in the Goodwill pile. I didn’t put anything in the closet for the sake of having it. I really noticed each piece. And then, it hit me – the clothes were a metaphor representing situations, people and desires.

For those who don’t know my work, I do Consumer Research (www.beetrix.com). One of the methodologies we use has folks bringing in pictures that represent their thoughts and feelings about a product or a service. I listen for metaphor in their descriptions and use it as a gateway to dive deeper into understanding their experience.

Ha! This time the Cobbler’s children DO have shoes.

As I struggle through the Jewish Holidays with a new found sense of my own truth around certain situations, people and desires, I was relieved to have a metaphorical lens through which to view how I was feeling. See, I am not ready to let go of some things, but I don’t want them hanging in the closet on a daily basis. Keeping them nicely packed downstairs is my way holding on with one hand, not two. It was obviously time to let go of other things and so those went straight into the giveaway pile. And still others required a little more thought and went into the closet with a “wait and see how I feel wearing it this year” curiosity. As I finished flipping my closet, a sense of acceptance washed over me.

I also realized that it wasn’t really about how these clothes looked, it was more about how I felt wearing them. And as is life, my body has changed and what once fit easily, no longer fits as comfortably. No blame, just a natural evolution. So to, is the natural evolution of how I fit into my world and how it fits me.

As things change, literally taking care of my health and body are also top of mind. My desire to feel well has led me to reconnect with a gentle and encouraging trainer (www.Level3fit.com) , and an old friend from my childhood who sells supplements that help with energy, digestion and my “stage” of life (www.WAYGOOD.My PlexusProducts.com). I am constantly reminded that it is not only what I wear on the outside, but how I feel on the inside.

As Billy Crystal used to say, “When you feel good, you look good Dahling”. Here’s to a season of feeling good, no matter what you have “hanging in your closet.”

How do you MindFULLY notice how you fit metaphorically in your clothes and in the world? Let us know!

There With Care

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Whether you have children or you don’t, it’s a day to celebrate. Everyone has a Mother.

And you never know what your Mother has really been through.

As I reflected on Mother’s Day yesterday and where I started 16 years ago, and where I am today, with a beautiful, bright, capable and odds beating, life-shining daughter, I could feel the tears of gratitude well up. My daughter was born 9 weeks early. While we knew I was High Risk for a few reasons, never did we think that we would come to know what NICU stood for – Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I won’t bore you with our drama, but suffice to say, an ambulance ride to two different hospitals and the words of several Drs standing over my bed telling me all the things that “might be awaiting having a baby born this early”, left us shocked and scared.

Thankfully, our daughter was born with strong lungs and after a month in her little incubator, with a tape recorder playing Mozart and a huge stuffed giraffe (our metaphor for love — the giraffe has the largest heart of any land animal) watching over her, she was sent home healthy and thriving. Early again…and we were off and running. I didn’t want baby clothes, books, toys or stuffed animals. All I wanted, as I tried to navigate the crazy days was food in my freezer and fridge. Not worrying about getting to the store or making a meal was a huge relief. We needed sustenance, not stuff.

Today, in honor of being “one of those Moms” and with gratitude for the outcome, every other week I deliver bags of necessities to the local NICU or Ronald McDonald House. Through my friend Jill, I found a special organization called There With Care. TWC “provides fundamental support services to families and children facing critical illness during medical crisis.” Please, take a moment and visit the website. http://therewithcare.org – The story of how they started, and where they are today, is inspirational.

Maybe in honor of someone you know, like a mom who navigated a difficult time, a child born with challenges, or even your own mom who made your lunch every day and crafted a hot meal every night, you might be willing to make a donation? The site tells you what is needed most.

What it doesn’t tell you is the feeling you’ll get when you know it’s time for you to make dinner, and you can, grateful that you are doing it yourself, but knowing if you couldn’t, someone would be There With Care.

How do you MindFULLY honor your Mom? Let us know!

Mai Pen Rai

As I relaxed on my sunny front porch the other day, enjoying the serendipitous music coming from a stranger as he sat on the back of his car playing the cello, I was struck by the myriad of emotions that passed in front of me as I looked out at my neighborhood. There are beautiful gardens to enjoy, kids playing basketball and laughing and bits and pieces of longing resting on my heart for folks from my old ‘hood that I miss waving to.

In front of me is the key phrase.

It used to be that emotions hit me in the gut. Now, with time and compassion and understanding, on a “good day” the emotions come up and pass by. In front of me one moment, gone the next. Mai Pen Rai, I say. It is what it is.I learned of Mai Pen Rai, when I came across the article below. As you will read, “Mai Pen Rai” is elusive in its meaning and description and can be understood to mean any of the following: it’s OK, it doesn’t matter, no worries, or it is what it is.” I loved the way the author described the saying, and way of life, prevalent in Thailand.

http://www.businessbackpacker.com/mai-pen-rai-a-lesson-on-letting-go/

No matter the culture, religion, country, etc., there are many ways to hold perspective of situations and relationships. My grandmother used to say in Yiddush, Gumzalatova – it’s all for the good. Caroline Myss, spiritual teacher and medical intuit, says that situations and people show up to teach us what we need to learn. The Bible, the Torah, books of other religions, spiritual teachers, columnists and psychologists all have their spin. The spin hardly matters. What I find important is the peace in whatever piece I choose to learn from.

I love metaphors and often find my home to be a powerful reminder of what I need to learn and what I know. Outsides change – cloudy days, sunny days, we move, others we love move, too. Insides give us the chance to control a little more – rearranging furniture (re-framing), creating a sense of ourselves with color and light (illuminating our insights), making space to sit and welcome friends/family (lessons) and ourselves.

What goes on outside of us goes on. What we do with it inside is up to us.

How do you MindFULLY learn that it’s OK? Let us know!

MindFULL Freedom

Tonight begins the Jewish holiday of Passover. It is not a religious holiday, as much as it is a Spiritual one.

Passover tells the story of the Hebrews release from Egyptian slavery and how they wandered the dessert for 40 years enroute to the Promised Land. There are rituals and details that expand dinners (known as Seders) from the usual quick 30 minute routine to, in some homes (like my Great Uncle Oscar’s), over 4 hours. The holiday lasts for 8 days, during which no leavened products can be had. Families and friends gather, stories are told, questions are asked and courses keep on coming – each one with different symbols and spins on old favorites.

There are so many interpretations of the holiday. One gist for some celebrating is the notion of freeing ourselves from our own bondage. As my friend Vesna says, “It is the one time when you should take things personally.” What she means is that it can be a personal holiday – one where you actually get to make it about you – seeing ourselves reflected in all of the different figures of Passover. As it is said, of all the Hebrews to be freed, only 20% left – 80% stayed. The devil they knew was better than the devil they didn’t.

So, where do you stay back? Inspite of all of the miracles you’ve seen in your life, where do you still lack the Faith you need to move ahead, physically, spiritually, emotionally?

Where are you like Moses and take yourself out of narrow places and face your fears?

And where are you like Pharaoh? Nice to some and wicked to others? Holding them slaves for your kindness, when you dole out beatings more often?

There are so many questions and metaphors to explore during this time. And it doesn’t matter if you celebrate Passover or not. The invitation is to simply reflect on your own life and where you are a slave and where you want to be free.

My wish for you, no matter how you celebrate (or don’t) is: May you be free, May you have Faith, and May you see the miracles that surround you. It’s pretty simple. Maybe that’s why the story has lasted for thousands of years. It’s a tale we could all learn from.

How will you MindFULLY set yourself free this year? Let us know!

Home

It’s Spring! Finally. And for me that means I get to sweep off of the winter dust, fluff the pillows on the porch and see what the decorating magazines, Pinterest and Houzz are showing. Let me grab a vodka seltzer, extra lime, and kick back…

Woa! What’s with all the high prices?

Recently, I saw a pillow that I thought was cute. It was $125. Seriously? No way. I am gonna make it. At least that’s what I used to do. Lets see if I still have it in me:

Went to Ikea and bought a pillow cover – $6 (they give their stuff away)
Went to Michaels and bought iron on letters
Cut out a heart from extra iron on border
Ironed it all on!

OK, MindFULL readers? What do you think?

jinwoolee.ghost.io

Now that Spring has sprung, what MindFULLY creative ideas will you make?

Let us know!

MindFULL Day Ways

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Sage words from an old boss, stranger on a plane and coincidentally (or is it?), “Dr. Bob”. Robert Mauer, Ph.D. aka “Dr. Bob”, is a wonderful psychologist I met at a friend’s work event 25 years ago in Chicago. Meeting him changed our lives (a post for another time).

Flash forward to life in Denver where I attended a workshop on Kaizen. According to the book jacket on Amazon: “Rooted in the two thousand-year-old wisdom of the Tao Te Ching–“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”–Kaizen is the art of making great and lasting change through small, steady increments. Kaizen is the tortoise versus the hare. Kaizen is the eleven Fortune 500 companies that significantly outperformed the market through moderate, step-by-step actions. Kaizen is losing weight not by a crash diet (which more often than not crashes) but by eating one bite less at each meal–then, a month later, eating two bites less. Kaizen is starting a life-changing exercise program by standing–just standing–on a treadmill for one minute a day.”

I had totally forgotten about Kaizen, until last week when Dr. Bob and his book, One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer Ph.D were mentioned in an article.

Shazam!

It’s Spring cleaning time (metaphorically) and all week I had been thinking about how to “clean some things up.” I wanted to do some things “better.” My “betters” were born of wanting to give and receive more kindness, showing up for others AND myself, and accepting situations and people/life as it was. As Dr. Bob says, “A life long journey – made one step at a time.”

Thus, I embraced this g-d wink and took one small step toward “better” by anonymously treating my daughter’s Debate class to a frozen yogurt outing. They took several titles at their State Championship. It’s one thing to say Congratulations! – It’s another thing to show it. Then, a call led me to leave soup outside of someone’s door. Later on that day, I was walking with my friend who always illuminates this phase of life and makes me laugh (at situations and myself) — she called the day Tzdekah (Jewish word for charity) Tuesday.

Then I realized…my blog posts on MindFULL Mondays.

And so it was, with my friend’s laughter, insights, delight for my daughter and more g-d winks than I could count, that I thought of creating my own Kaizen – Day Ways – a daily practice to keep me conscious and moving toward “better”, one step at a time. I’m sharing them with the hope that you, too, may decide to create a MindFULL Day that motivates you to take one small step toward your own “better.”

MindFULL Day Ways

MindFULL Monday – I am going to get back into the habit of posting something I hope will be enjoyable every Monday.

Tzedakah Tuesday – I am going to make a small difference in one person’s life every Tuesday.

Willpower Wednesday – I am going to set a goal for myself and take one little step toward it every Wednesday.

Thoughtful Thursday – I am going to cut everyone (including myself) some slack on Thursdays.

Freeday Friday – I am going to do one thing that is fun!

Sensual Saturday (all senses) – I am going to be aware of all my senses (touch, smell, taste hearing, sight) and do one thing to feed each of them.

Soulful Sunday – I am going to read or listen to one thing that might give me a new perspective.

p.s. I happen to write this post on FreeDay Friday – a day to do something fun! Here I am having a beer and leisurely lunch with my Dad, who is visiting. I also updated this on Soulful Sunday and true to my intention, received another g-d wink via time spent with someone who always gives me loving perspective.

What MindFULL Day have you created?

Let us know!

MindFULL Selfies and Mannequins

Do you ever step out of the shower and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror? What’s the first thought that goes through your mind?

Gotta confess, mine isn’t pretty. When I was little, I was “chubby”. Sometimes, I still look in the mirror and see that little girl. Other times, I notice my thoughts and try and be a little kinder.

I have found when I notice my world, that which I need to learn shows up pretty clearly in front of me. As life would have it, my learning of physical self-compassion came in the form of two videos seen on the same day.

The first video was directed by documentary filmmaker Cynthia Wade and produced by our (wildly talented cousin) Sharon Liese (Producer, High School Confidential) and debuted at the 2014 Sundance Film Festival a few weeks ago – to high praise and well deserved acclaim.

The 7-minute short film called Selfie explores how social media is shaping the way we perceive beauty and follows a series of teenagers and their mothers who are asked to take self-images that highlight their insecurities about the way they look. The film aims to empower women to redefine the traditional perception of beauty found in glossy magazines and movies.

http://mashable.com/2014/01/20/dove-selfies-short-film/

The second video, Pro Infirmis (Because Who Among Us Is Perfect?) was shown in my Kabbalah class (www.thekabbalahexperience.com) and shows the creation of mannequins in the shape of body different people. It was so powerful it brought tears to my eyes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8umFV69fNg

As I watch my own teenage daughter grow and move through her self definition and perceptions, I am in awe and constant prayer. How do I help her make sense of all of this when my husband’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue arrives, blaring three young girls wearing only bikini bottoms and their tushies hanging out? Thankfully, she is bright, emotionally intelligent and has her own sense of (delightful and creative) style. Still, I just read an article in this week’s NYTs that said “It’s been estimated that girls 11 to 14 are subjected to some 500 advertisements a day”. The ensuing results could fill 10 posts.

Why aren’t we seeing more videos like Selfie and the Mannequins? Afterall, if we really are trying to accept ourselves, may be the Selves we promote should be real – not airbrushed.

How do you MindFULLY notice and accept your Self? Let us know!

Love, Loss, Bold Living and 365 Days at a Time

I don’t know if it’s my age, but a lot of loss is starting to show up and it begs the question, “How do WE show up?” Before we can be of comfort, it seems to me that we must first seek to understand what someone is going through. And when it comes to be our turn, which sadly, it will, perhaps we will find solace in the stories of those that have come before us.

This Wednesday night, my friend, Nancy Sharp, is going to be launching her new book, BOTH SIDES NOW: A True Story of Love, Loss, and Bold Living. Because I can’t write half as well as she can, I am re-printing a piece of the story that has been written and shared. She is pure inspiration. With grace and dignity and a laugh that makes you smile, Nancy shows us all how to live BOLDLY. Check out her website for more info on her book and this week’s celebration for those who live in Denver (Tattered Cover, Wed 7:30pm) http://www.nancysharp.net.

The past is simply part of our story; just not the whole story…On the very day that Nancy Sharp delivered premature twins, she learned that her husband’s brain cancer returned after eighteen months in remission. Less than three years later, at the age of 37, she became a widow. Seeking a fresh start in the solace of the Rocky Mountains, Nancy packed up her five year-old twins and left Manhattan for Denver, never imagining that she would find love in the pages of a magazine. But after reading an article on eligible bachelors, Nancy sent an email to Steve Saunders, a popular Denver television anchor turned political candidate as well as a widower who’d lost his wife to cancer, and was raising two sons a decade older than Nancy’s twins. Together they started a new chapter of their own. In BOTH SIDES NOW Nancy shares her unforgettable journey – one that offers enlightened understanding for living life to the fullest. Her story is a gift to those looking to lift themselves from the embers of loss and adversity through bold living.

Also on our shelves, we are blessed to have another friend’s book, Living with Loss, One Day at a Time. While it, too, was born out of the passing of her husband, Rachel Blythe Kodanaz takes her bountiful compassion and understanding and shines a daily light for those who may be taking it, “one day at a time”.

Living with Loss, One Day at a Time, offers daily encouragement to individuals and families who have lost a loved one or are suffering from any form of loss. As was written about Rachel’s book:

The 365 daily lessons and thought-provoking ideas provide hope, optimism, introspection, and self-discovery. There is no beginning or end to the book – the reader can skip around or dive in sequentially. The book is a great tool to spark communication with your family on a daily basis as each day provides a discussion item for all ages and creates a meaningful dinnertime conversation. The pages provide space for journaling and capturing the reader’s perspective on the topic of the day. The upbeat and matter-of-fact format allows for clarity on subjects that are often overlooked or not discussed amongst friends and family. Whether you recently experienced a loss or find a need for a boost of encouragement, the book will be your companion through your journey.

For more on navigating loss of any kind, check out Rachel’s website: http://www.rachelkodanaz.com

Living life includes living loss. How do you MindFULLY live both ?

Let us know!

Picture This Year

The sun is shining and my daughter is outside, taking headshots of a friend. She has recently discovered photography and its fun to watch her document people, places and ideas.

Last year I came across this posting and I couldn’t wait for this January to share it – 10 Cant Miss Photos to Take Each Month http://www.creatingkeepsakes.com/content_downloads/PHO-LIST-A.pdf

There are some creative ideas on this list, laid out month by month. With renewed creative intention, and something as simple as the camera on your phone, you can set out to build a year worth reflecting upon, in a new way.

Check it out. I’m sorry I cant attribute a thank you to the right person. I don’t remember where I found it. I hope the knowing they added creative ideas to our every month, will be thanks enough.

What will you MindFULLY capture when you turn your lens on the world?

Let us know!