Musings and Insights

7 Up

Looking for something new to watch? How about a new way to ponder life and time. The link below is to a blog that my Kabbalah teacher, David Sanders writes. Always insightful, David brings new ideas and ways of seeing, moving through and being in the world.

http://www.kabbalahexperience.com/life-measured-every-seven-years/

His latest post is about 7 Up, a series of eight documentaries chronicling the lives of a dozen people from the London area since the age of seven–every seven years. None have died. They are now 56.

I’m curious about what ordinary people like you and I have thought about, experienced and have in common.

Which led me to ponder, if I were to make a documentary of my life, how many years in between would I choose to revisit with my self? What thread would weave itself throughout my story? And how would I want it to end?

What MindFULL documentary would you create? Let us know!

Another MindFull Perspective

My friend, Joy, sent this to me last week. I thought for this MindFULL Monday, I’d share it with you, since this past weekend I posted a bonus blog on repainting my bathroom and all the thoughts it brought up. Love another way to look at decorating, not just our homes, but ourselves!

Each day we choose to decorate our life just as we do our homes, by Madisyn Taylor

There are few things more thrilling than having a new house or an empty room to decorate. Our imaginations soar as we consider the many possibilities. In the same way, our lives offer us the opportunity to express ourselves within various contexts, to ask ourselves questions about what we want to see as we move through our days and how we want things to flow. Some people do this instinctively, moving through the various environments they inhabit and shifting the energy with their presence. These people have a knack for decorating life. This can be as simple as the way they dress, the way they speak, or the fact that they always bring a bouquet of wildflowers when they come for a visit.

As we move through the world, we make a statement, whether we intend to or not. We shift the energy one way when we enter a room dressed elegantly and simply, and another when we show up in bright, cheerful colors and a floppy hat. One is not better than the other. It is simply a question of the mood we wish to create. What we wear is just one choice we can focus on. The way we speak to people, or touch them, shifts the energy more profoundly than almost anything else. The words we speak and the tone in which we say them are the music we choose to play in the world that is our home. Some of us fill the space with passionate arias, others with healing hymns. Again, one is not better than the other. We are all called to contribute.

Just as we consciously create an environment within our homes, we can consciously choose to decorate life itself with our particular energy. Ideally, in doing so, we express our deeper selves, so that the adornments we add to the world make it more meaningful, more beautiful, and as welcoming as a beloved home.

What MindFULL articles have inspired you? Let us know!

One MindFULL Bite

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Such was the advice of the gentleman in the seat next to me, enroute to a project somewhere, years ago. His advice, on the heels of sharing how he got to be CEO of his company, made it into my journal.

“One bite at a time” I chanted as I stood in the doorway of my master bath, longing for a new color and knowing that if I wanted it to change, I was going to have to do it myself.

Uch. I love the concept and I hate the execution. Taping, painting, perfecting.

I watch too much HGTV. They make it look so easy. Yet, for someone like me, who loves the big picture, but isn’t as crazy about the details, it’s really hard.

However, I am determined. And I thought about my daughter and all the little sayings we share, when we want to do something and feel overwhelmed. “One bite a time” has moved us through many a challenge.

I find that a saying can remind me of something I know, show me a new way to think about a situation and help me through a tough moment. If you have ever wasted hours clicking through Pinterest, you might notice all the sayings posted on the site. I have started a Phrase Board. I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you. After all, “Choose Joy” is something we could all do well to remember.

When odds are one in a million, BE that ONE.
People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. Pay attention. (Similar to my friend Barb’s favorite saying, “People tell you who they are. Listen.”)
Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own.
Judging a person dose not define who they are…it defines who you are (And vice versa)
Swearing…because sometimes “gosh darn” and “meanie head” just don’t cover it.
Chin up, beautiful. Your mistakes do not define failure. They define your efforts. Even if you’ve stumbled, just take a step forward and keep moving on towards your goal.
View challenging people as your assignment. Ask yourself: What is this person meant to teach me? Every person in our lives has a lesson to teach. Some lessons include: To become stronger. To be more communicative. To trust your intuition. To be more self loving. To know when to let go. To be nothing like this person. To see a part of ourselves we hate to admit, or need to admire.
Don’t raise your voice. Improve your argument.
Some things fall part so other things can fall together
If things aren’t working out, turn 180 degrees and move toward what you want (thanks, Ellen!)
You don’t drive your car looking in the rear view mirror. Why should you live your life looking backwards?

What MindFULL saying do you use to move through life? Let us know!

A MindFULL Fit

Many years ago when we lived in Boston, I had a fabulous pair of black snakeskin Kenneth Cole sandals. I loved them. I bought them for a great price and wore them everywhere. However, after several wearings, I was dismayed to notice how they started to hurt my feet. I ignored the rubbing along the outside of my pinkie toe, until one day I couldn’t take them off and look away from the puffy blister that had formed.

Bummed, I knew it was time to let them go. So I walked to the Boston Common and set them next to the garbage can with a note that said, “Enjoy Me!”, hoping they would fit someone else and they too would love wearing such beautiful sandals.

I was reminded of this easy reframe today, when telling my mother of how frustrated I was with my Doctor’s bedside manner. She simply said, “Perhaps it’s time for a new Dr. After all, our needs and preferences change. It’s totally fine to move on and often, that’s how life goes.”

She was right. My Dr. didn’t do anything wrong. She just didn’t fit for me any longer. It was time to release her and to allow her to make time for another patient. It was time for me to find a new Dr who fit the stage of life I’m in.

What an easier and kinder way to see our relationships. Like a favorite pair of shoes, sometimes we simply outgrow them and need to pass them on with love and gratitude for the time well worn.

With a lighter heart, I put my new favorite shoes on this afternoon and headed to a new Dr’s office. Thanks, Mom. If anyone knows anything about good fitting shoes and life, it’s you.

What is your MindFULL Metaphor for life’s changing situations? Let us know!

Shining Eyes

It’s MindFULL Monday. I love Mondays. I see them as new starts to new new weeks. However, it has been a while since my last MindFULL Monday post. My get up and go seems to get up and go during the dark days of January. I tend to stick close to home, withdraw and spend time carting around my hotwater bottle. I know that I will be up and out again soon, but for now, I find contentment under my comforter with books, magazines and journal writing.

I am grateful for the work to come and this time to be.

Amongst reading and journaling, I have taken to a new favorite afternoon activity –watching TED talks on my iPAd. I know I have posted about TED before, but I love this site. And I LOVED this talk. When it was over, I looked in the mirror and saw that I had shining eyes. I hope you will gift yourself with 20 minutes to watch it.

http://www.ted.com/talks/benjamin_zander_on_music_and_passion.html (you have to copy and paste this link into your browser to get it to work. If it doesn’t, then go to Ted.com and type in Benjamin Zander Shining Eyes. It’s worth it!).

As I write this post, it just occurred to me that I could watch my TED talk AND walk on my treadmill. Hmmm, am I ready to fling forth the comforter and get up and go?

What do you MindFULLY do to create shining eyes? Let us know!

Light of the Season

How do you bring light into the holidays and then into the dark days of winter that follow?

That was a question I pondered after a discussion of something I had always taken for granted – lighting the Chanukah menorah. You see, for all my years, I have observed the lighting from left to right, starting with one candle on the left, plus the one in the center (the shamas candle) that is used to light all the others. As the 8 days mount, you add another. I thought that was the only way to do it and that the reason you do it that way is because that is how we read a Siddur (the Jewish prayer book). But in my Kabbalah class last week, several women spoke of lighting the menorah with all 8 candles to begin with and taking 1 a way each night of the holiday.

Who knew there was more than one way? And did anyone ever say that there wasn’t?

Such was also the thought that came to me when my neighbor, who has THE most decorated holiday home we have ever lived near, offered to string white lights (his version of non denominational) around our home. We appreciated the offer and passed. I grew up without holiday lights. “It just wasn’t something Jewish people did.”

Why not? Aren’t they just lights?

Which led to another conversation about my winter ritual of simply lighting a candle in the evening as it grows dark. Around 5pm, I put on Pandora, light a candle and sometimes, pour a drink. It is calming and cozy in my kitchen as I make dinner.

My other neighbor, who is Catholic, said she has never been into candles, as it was not part of her upbringing, outside of Church. Hmmm…do I light one at 5pm, cause it is part of mine? Jewish people tend to light candles on Friday night (to bring in the Sabbath), Saturday night ( to usher it out) and on the anniversary of the death of a loved one (Yortzeit candle). It never occurred to me that it was in my DNA.

All this talk about light has made me think that it’s not what kind of lights I light, but how I bring light to the holidays, dark days of winter and rituals in my home. I even started thinking about the fun of making candles in different ways. Check out the link from good old Martha Stewart. If anyone knows how to kindle the festive lights, it’s her!

http://www.marthastewart.com/273016/teacup-lights?czone=home/smart-savings-cnt/save-money&center=277003&gallery=275315&slide=273016

Where do you MindFully find light in the dark of winter? Let us know!

MindFULL Men’s Essentials

Years ago, I had a debate with my friend Tony about men and their shoes. I claimed it was the first thing people noticed and thought good shoes important to a first impression. He called baloney. But as the years went on, he agreed. To our list we added a nice watch and good teeth.

Last week, I wrote about “turning my closet” and offered a checklist of clothing must haves from Anne Christensen, executive fashion director of Glamour. So this week, in a salute to my guy friends, I am posting an article I found in my in-flight United magazine.

According to Brian Spaly, CEO of Trunk Club, an online men’s clothing service, “There are six items of clothing that every many should have in his closet. These classics will serve as the foundation for an everyday wardrobe, and they are particularly helpful when traveling.”

Navy Blazer – “A simple classic piece that says, “I’m sophisticated – this is not my first plane ride.

White Shirt – “Clean, crisp and elegant. Versatile white shirts are timeless and offer a nice contrast to any sweater or blazer.”

Belt – “Look for high quality, robust leather. Coordinate color/finish with your shoes. Advanced style points: match the buckle with your watch band.

Gray V-Neck Sweater – “solid layering piece fro handling different climates and circumstances. Works with nearly all trouser /denim options.

Jeans – “Invest in a great pair of high –end denim. Cleaner washes/rinses look better with blazers and dress shirts. Avoid skinny cuts unless you are selling creative work.”

Shoes – “Rich brown or caramel colored shoes (with matching belt) are a staple. Unless you wearing a formal suit or reffing a game, stay away from black shoes.”

What MindFULL essentials do you rely on? Let us know!

Ten Small Words

Several years ago, I posted about one of my favorite sites: http://www.headbutler.com. At Head Butler, you can find reviews of books, music, movies and products. Head Butler is Jesse Kornbluth, a magazine journalist who loves all things cultural – he sees himself as sort of a cultural concierge. He’s my cultural idol.

He always seems to find something new and fresh to share. My intention as well; but I am not as good these days at putting myself into the thick of things.

That’s why, every week, I devour his email.

A few weeks ago, I was struck by the column below. What stood out for me, in addition to the story he tells, are the 10 words he hears in a song- Am I a Blessing to Everyone I Meet?

Straight to the heart.

Check out his post (recopied here for your ease) and then click through to his site. Sign up. Perhaps there will be something you see that will enable you to answer, Yes.

_________________________________________________

It-s embarrassing. No, really, it-s humiliating to admit this, but somebody wronged me in 1989 and I still haven-t dealt with it. I-ve tiptoed right up to the door of a conversation I need to have with this person, a close friend who very nearly cost me the best job I’d ever had, but I-ve never taken the final step and told her that I know what she did and asked why she did it. I have my reasons — I mean: I have my rationalizations — and first among them is that I have, from day one, known why she did it: She was desperate, there was something she had to have, and it made no difference what lie she had to tell about a close friend to get it.

One could have compassion for someone so over her head that it didn-t matter who she had to burn to survive. But for more than two decades, I haven-t been able to forgive this person. When I think of her — and it-s not often — I-m suddenly sitting on a powder keg of fury, with no way to locate compassion or forgiveness.

In a moment like that — a moment of loathing for her and self-loathing for myself — I heard a song from Brandi Carlile-s new CD, –Bear Creek. That Wasn-t Me.- It-s about addiction — not hers — and dealing with it, and that person changing, and friends wanting to believe in that change. It-s about love and compassion and hope, emotions that Brandi Carlile can access with astonishing speed. [To watch/hear the video, click here ( http://headbutler.pmailus.com/pmailweb/ct?d=WZxhdQGhAAEAAA2iAAZIhw ) .] Of course I bawled when I first heard it — the way I know something is Art is that it makes me cry — and I got teary all over again the next dozen times I heard it. So I stopped playing the CD. For a never-before reason: It was too good. [To buy -Bear Creek- from Amazon, click here ( http://headbutler.pmailus.com/pmailweb/ct?d=WZxhdQGhAAEAAA8qAAZIhw ) . For the MP3 download, click here ( http://headbutler.pmailus.com/pmailweb/ct?d=WZxhdQGhAAEAAA_8AAZIhw ) .]

But now there-s been an event — you don-t need the details — that has reminded me of this long-distant betrayal. And the wrong done to me has been gnawing at me. Often. So, seeking solace in somebody else-s drama, I put on -Bear Creek- again. And, in -That Wasn-t Me,- I heard the words fresh: -Do I make myself a blessing to everyone I meet?-

And you know what? I don-t. It-s not obvious that I don-t, because I can fake it as well as anyone in this city, but it became very clear to me that as long as I-m holding onto this bile, I-m treating everybody I deal with just a bit more defensively than I ought to. That-s got to stop. And I-m gonna stop it.

Why tell this story?

I-m not minimizing the importance of entertainment — life is hard, a good night out is to be cherished — but some entertainers are healers as well as performers. And over three CDs, I find qualities in Brandi Carlile that are worthy of admiration. Healing qualities. And not, I’d bet, just for me.

How do you MindFULLY decide to change a behavior? Let us know!

MindFULL LIttle Luxuries Under $20

How often do you treat yourself? I am a firm believer in the old adage, “It’s the little things.” See, I am one of those people who goes all out and then crashes. Knowing this, I am always on the lookout for little ways to sooth myself and bring energy back into my Spirit.

While I’d really like to go to a spa or lounge at a house on the beach, I have to bear in mind that that ways to fill back up need to be a little more realistic — and affordable. What’s affordable? Say…around $20. There is something about a $20 bill for me. If I see something I like and it is $20 or less, I don’t give it a second thought. If it’s more, I ponder whether or not I really want it. So, my list is made up of little things that I can do for myself that cost under $20:

Good shampoo
Body wash instead of soap
Fresh flowers
Manicures
Hummus, olives and a glass of wine
A makeover at Nordstoms and a new colorful lipstick
Film to shoot
Colorful underwear and socks
A latte’ at the library
Going to the movies in the middle of the day
Really good hand lotion in a tube
Getting my car washed and vacuumed
A new journal
A new playlist
A large make my own frozen yogurt
A used book from Powells

What do you MindFULLY do for yourself that costs $20 or less?Add to our list and let us know!

MindFULL Vacation

It’s time for me to take a few weeks off from writing and head out into the summer heat in search of new ideas and thoughts to share. I’ll be back at the end of July with a mind full of observations, tips and insights gathered from some of my favorite people and places.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this question to ponder and “discuss amongst yourselves” …

What is the most significant life lesson you have learned thus far

that has truly impacted how you live?

How did you MindFULLY learn this life lesson? Let us know!