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One MindFULL Bite

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Such was the advice of the gentleman in the seat next to me, enroute to a project somewhere, years ago. His advice, on the heels of sharing how he got to be CEO of his company, made it into my journal.

“One bite at a time” I chanted as I stood in the doorway of my master bath, longing for a new color and knowing that if I wanted it to change, I was going to have to do it myself.

Uch. I love the concept and I hate the execution. Taping, painting, perfecting.

I watch too much HGTV. They make it look so easy. Yet, for someone like me, who loves the big picture, but isn’t as crazy about the details, it’s really hard.

However, I am determined. And I thought about my daughter and all the little sayings we share, when we want to do something and feel overwhelmed. “One bite a time” has moved us through many a challenge.

I find that a saying can remind me of something I know, show me a new way to think about a situation and help me through a tough moment. If you have ever wasted hours clicking through Pinterest, you might notice all the sayings posted on the site. I have started a Phrase Board. I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you. After all, “Choose Joy” is something we could all do well to remember.

When odds are one in a million, BE that ONE.
People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. Pay attention. (Similar to my friend Barb’s favorite saying, “People tell you who they are. Listen.”)
Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own.
Judging a person dose not define who they are…it defines who you are (And vice versa)
Swearing…because sometimes “gosh darn” and “meanie head” just don’t cover it.
Chin up, beautiful. Your mistakes do not define failure. They define your efforts. Even if you’ve stumbled, just take a step forward and keep moving on towards your goal.
View challenging people as your assignment. Ask yourself: What is this person meant to teach me? Every person in our lives has a lesson to teach. Some lessons include: To become stronger. To be more communicative. To trust your intuition. To be more self loving. To know when to let go. To be nothing like this person. To see a part of ourselves we hate to admit, or need to admire.
Don’t raise your voice. Improve your argument.
Some things fall part so other things can fall together
If things aren’t working out, turn 180 degrees and move toward what you want (thanks, Ellen!)
You don’t drive your car looking in the rear view mirror. Why should you live your life looking backwards?

What MindFULL saying do you use to move through life? Let us know!

A MindFULL Fit

Many years ago when we lived in Boston, I had a fabulous pair of black snakeskin Kenneth Cole sandals. I loved them. I bought them for a great price and wore them everywhere. However, after several wearings, I was dismayed to notice how they started to hurt my feet. I ignored the rubbing along the outside of my pinkie toe, until one day I couldn’t take them off and look away from the puffy blister that had formed.

Bummed, I knew it was time to let them go. So I walked to the Boston Common and set them next to the garbage can with a note that said, “Enjoy Me!”, hoping they would fit someone else and they too would love wearing such beautiful sandals.

I was reminded of this easy reframe today, when telling my mother of how frustrated I was with my Doctor’s bedside manner. She simply said, “Perhaps it’s time for a new Dr. After all, our needs and preferences change. It’s totally fine to move on and often, that’s how life goes.”

She was right. My Dr. didn’t do anything wrong. She just didn’t fit for me any longer. It was time to release her and to allow her to make time for another patient. It was time for me to find a new Dr who fit the stage of life I’m in.

What an easier and kinder way to see our relationships. Like a favorite pair of shoes, sometimes we simply outgrow them and need to pass them on with love and gratitude for the time well worn.

With a lighter heart, I put my new favorite shoes on this afternoon and headed to a new Dr’s office. Thanks, Mom. If anyone knows anything about good fitting shoes and life, it’s you.

What is your MindFULL Metaphor for life’s changing situations? Let us know!

Shining Eyes

It’s MindFULL Monday. I love Mondays. I see them as new starts to new new weeks. However, it has been a while since my last MindFULL Monday post. My get up and go seems to get up and go during the dark days of January. I tend to stick close to home, withdraw and spend time carting around my hotwater bottle. I know that I will be up and out again soon, but for now, I find contentment under my comforter with books, magazines and journal writing.

I am grateful for the work to come and this time to be.

Amongst reading and journaling, I have taken to a new favorite afternoon activity –watching TED talks on my iPAd. I know I have posted about TED before, but I love this site. And I LOVED this talk. When it was over, I looked in the mirror and saw that I had shining eyes. I hope you will gift yourself with 20 minutes to watch it.

http://www.ted.com/talks/benjamin_zander_on_music_and_passion.html (you have to copy and paste this link into your browser to get it to work. If it doesn’t, then go to Ted.com and type in Benjamin Zander Shining Eyes. It’s worth it!).

As I write this post, it just occurred to me that I could watch my TED talk AND walk on my treadmill. Hmmm, am I ready to fling forth the comforter and get up and go?

What do you MindFULLY do to create shining eyes? Let us know!

Birds Eye View

It’s school break and that means lots of house time. Funny what I notice about my house after sitting in the same chair for hours.

Seeing things with a new perspective can help me think that I have created something new, without spending much money.

Take this drink stand I recently purchased. It just sat in the corner of my dining room, til Colette mentioned what a cool bird’s nest it could be when I wasn’t using it. All of a sudden, the shredded paper in the study had a purpose and everywhere we went, I started to notice all kinds of creative birds! I bought a few and am thinking I may be on to a new collection. I’m gonna work on this.

Real Simple magazine has published their New Uses for Old Things: Holiday Edition. http://www.realsimple.com/new-uses-for-old-things/new-uses-holidays . Perhaps there is something in it to inspire you? After all, you never know what “bird brain” ideas will present themselves when you simply look at things with a new eye.

What have you MindFULLY re-used? Let us know!

Thinking Inside The Box

Ya know the old adage, “Hear it three times, pay attention?” Well, last week, three different encounters reminded me of an old ritual I learned years ago: If you have a worry to let go of, dream to manifest or intention to hold, simply write it on a piece of paper and place it in a container of your choosing.

My ritual was born one summer on Cape Cod, when I bought a bowl and took to using it to place all the little sheets of paper that held my worries, dreams and intentions.

Then last week, I told my friend, Judith, about something that happened to my daughter. She suggested writing it down and keeping a “Mom Box” for all the little hurts I feel leveled at my child, as a way of acknowledging them, but letting them go. Great idea and reminder! Why not choose another box, I thought. So, I chose to use this box as my “Mom Box”, given to me by my friend Susan, who happens to see the blessing in almost everything. (She also says that wearing a scarf every day pulls your outfit and spirit together – but I digress).

Then on Facebook or Pinterest (I apologize but I can’t remember who to credit), I saw another container idea. This one said, ” This January, why not start the year with an empty jar and fill it with notes about good things that happen. Then, on next New Years Eve, empty it and see what awesome stuff happened that year!”

I love all of these ideas, for it takes what’s on your mind or in your heart and puts it out there. That’ s how we “Let Go and Let G-d” as Ellen likes to say.

So this season, no matter the container or theme you choose, may all your scraps of paper find their way to a MindFULL place.

What kind of MindFULL containers can you suggest? Let us know!

Light of the Season

How do you bring light into the holidays and then into the dark days of winter that follow?

That was a question I pondered after a discussion of something I had always taken for granted – lighting the Chanukah menorah. You see, for all my years, I have observed the lighting from left to right, starting with one candle on the left, plus the one in the center (the shamas candle) that is used to light all the others. As the 8 days mount, you add another. I thought that was the only way to do it and that the reason you do it that way is because that is how we read a Siddur (the Jewish prayer book). But in my Kabbalah class last week, several women spoke of lighting the menorah with all 8 candles to begin with and taking 1 a way each night of the holiday.

Who knew there was more than one way? And did anyone ever say that there wasn’t?

Such was also the thought that came to me when my neighbor, who has THE most decorated holiday home we have ever lived near, offered to string white lights (his version of non denominational) around our home. We appreciated the offer and passed. I grew up without holiday lights. “It just wasn’t something Jewish people did.”

Why not? Aren’t they just lights?

Which led to another conversation about my winter ritual of simply lighting a candle in the evening as it grows dark. Around 5pm, I put on Pandora, light a candle and sometimes, pour a drink. It is calming and cozy in my kitchen as I make dinner.

My other neighbor, who is Catholic, said she has never been into candles, as it was not part of her upbringing, outside of Church. Hmmm…do I light one at 5pm, cause it is part of mine? Jewish people tend to light candles on Friday night (to bring in the Sabbath), Saturday night ( to usher it out) and on the anniversary of the death of a loved one (Yortzeit candle). It never occurred to me that it was in my DNA.

All this talk about light has made me think that it’s not what kind of lights I light, but how I bring light to the holidays, dark days of winter and rituals in my home. I even started thinking about the fun of making candles in different ways. Check out the link from good old Martha Stewart. If anyone knows how to kindle the festive lights, it’s her!

http://www.marthastewart.com/273016/teacup-lights?czone=home/smart-savings-cnt/save-money&center=277003&gallery=275315&slide=273016

Where do you MindFully find light in the dark of winter? Let us know!

MindFULL Cleanse

How blessed are we to have plenty of food to choose from and enjoy? As we sat around the table of our beloved friends on Thursday, I indulged in two helpings of everything (including THE best apple cranberry pie I have ever had). The food, the wine and the company were enough to fill me for days.

And that is why I find myself wanting to do a simple detox/cleanse. I’m full in both body and mind. I thought if I could do a simple body cleanse, then I could also start a new journal and cleanse my mind of some thoughts and feelings I’d like to let go of, as well.

As I thought about how to go about this cleanse, I saw a promo for the Dr Oz Show. He was talking about what sounded like a reasonable 3 –day Detox Cleanse. I am not the most disciplined, but even I can do 3 days!

So I checked it out. http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/dr-ozs-3-day-detox-cleanse-one-sheet. The cleanse revolves around fruit and vegetable shakes in place of meals. I usually do a shake anyway for breakfast, so how hard can two more be?

I’ll let ya know the answer to that question on Thursday morning. For now, I am simply eager for “lunch”. What time is it? Oh…

Do you ever MindFULLY do a body detox or cleanse? When and how?

Let us know!

MindFULL Fashionistas

I know I have been writing a lot about clothes lately. I don’t normally pay this much Mind to them, but as I clean out my closet and switch seasons, I am becoming more MindFULL of what I buy and how it fits. The bummer is that I am not a great shopper.

Luckily, two of my friends are terrific at it. Both have great taste and carry women’s clothing lines that can be seen, tried on and purchased without ever stepping foot inside the Mall.

My friend Rebecca carries the line ETC.

Etcetera is a New York designed clothing line that is not retailed through store locations, but through consultants. Unique to Etcetera is the reuse of their color palettes so that customers can refresh their wardrobes by adding additional pieces to the ones that they already own. Most of the fabrics are from Europe and they are known for extraordinary detailing.

Etcetera is for the person that loves high quality, fashion forward clothing. There are four seasonal collections per year. Each show has around 300-350 different pieces which range from shorts and blue jeans to professional and cocktail. Clothes are displayed in a “boutique” fashion in her home, complete with dressing rooms.

Rebecca started representing Etcetera about 5 years ago at the suggestion of an Etcetera customer who knew that she was interested in bringing home some additional income to her family. Today she has a loyal customer base that rarely misses a collection.

The 2012 combined Fall and Winter/Holiday Show will be in her home from Friday, November 2 to the end of the day on Wednesday, November 7. Please call or email for an appointment. Nights and weekend appointments available, too. Rebecca Howard at 303-718-1015. rahventures@yahoo.com. 1945 E Chenango Ct., Cherry Hills Village, CO 80113.

You can view all of the clothes on line at www.etcetera.com.

My other friend, Eilin, also has an in-home line. Carlisle.

There are two lines under the concept Carlisle. One is Carlisle and the other is Per Se, which is the edgier line with a bit more pizzazz to it. She shows the line 6 times a year in her showroom in Cherry Creek and books by appointment only.

Elin has been showing this line since 1996. She mainly got into because she used to buy the clothes. When the women from whom she was buying decided to move, Elin inherited the position for fear of having no where to shop.

Elin’s client base is every type of woman. The collection runs from traditional to very contemporary. The clothes are casual, for the work place, and dressy as well. She sells “to many professional women and many women who have a passion for fashion!” Elin loves to add a twist to the outfits by mixing textures and fabrics up a bit, which makes the clothes all the more interesting. She loves working with people one on one and getting to know what they like so that she can keep an eye out for what looks good on them, becoming more like their personal shopper.

You can view the Carlisle Collection at www.carlisleclothing.com. For more information you can also call Elin about shopping with her at 303-440-1950.

For those of you here in Denver, you can call Rebecca and Elin directly and see these fabulous lines in person. For my readers in other cities, check out the websites and then let Rebecca or Elin know what you would like. You will be amazed at the Customer Service and quality these ladies bring to a daunting task. You may never look at yourself in the blue glare of dressing room lighting ever again.

How have you MindFULLY found new styles in new ways? Let us know!

4,7,8

A few weeks ago I went to hear Dr. Andrew Weil speak. For those of you who don’t know him, Dr. Weil is a Harvard trained doctor who brought Integrative medicine around as a new way of thinking about how we age and support our bodies. In 1994, he founded The Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona College of Medicine, becoming a leader in the transformation of health care by creating, educating, and actively supporting a community that embodies the philosophy and practice of healing-oriented medicine, addressing mind, body and spirit.

Dr. Weil was in Denver promoting his new restaurant True Food, where the food promises to be fresh, flavorful and healthy. I can’t wait to try it! There is also the True Food: Seasonal, Sustainable, Simple, Pure cookbook. He had a lot to promote and talk about. You can read about his philosophy and check out his advice – http://www.drweil.com/

I was a little bummed during the talk; he didn’t really say anything new. I was hoping to be re inspired. For me, it’s not a question of whether or not I know what to do take care of my mind , body or spirit…but whether or not I do it. I guess I was hoping he’d wave his magic motivational wand.

However, there is often a pearl to be found when we think all we have is an old clam shell. For me, the pearl was remembering to breathe. Something so simple and yet, so easy to forget. Just notice for a day how often you catch yourself holding your breath. You might be surprised.

Dr. Weil claims that the simple exercise listed below, done when you wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night, will change the way you process stress and will give you peace and insight. Try it for a month and then let us know if it really works!

With your back straight, sit down, lie down or stand
Put your tongue behind your front teeth
Breathe in through your nose and count to 4
Hold your breathe and count to 7
Blow air out of your mouth loudly to the count of 8

Do it three times, each time.

How do you MindFULLY integrate your mind, body and spirit? Let us know!

MindFULL Men’s Essentials

Years ago, I had a debate with my friend Tony about men and their shoes. I claimed it was the first thing people noticed and thought good shoes important to a first impression. He called baloney. But as the years went on, he agreed. To our list we added a nice watch and good teeth.

Last week, I wrote about “turning my closet” and offered a checklist of clothing must haves from Anne Christensen, executive fashion director of Glamour. So this week, in a salute to my guy friends, I am posting an article I found in my in-flight United magazine.

According to Brian Spaly, CEO of Trunk Club, an online men’s clothing service, “There are six items of clothing that every many should have in his closet. These classics will serve as the foundation for an everyday wardrobe, and they are particularly helpful when traveling.”

Navy Blazer – “A simple classic piece that says, “I’m sophisticated – this is not my first plane ride.

White Shirt – “Clean, crisp and elegant. Versatile white shirts are timeless and offer a nice contrast to any sweater or blazer.”

Belt – “Look for high quality, robust leather. Coordinate color/finish with your shoes. Advanced style points: match the buckle with your watch band.

Gray V-Neck Sweater – “solid layering piece fro handling different climates and circumstances. Works with nearly all trouser /denim options.

Jeans – “Invest in a great pair of high –end denim. Cleaner washes/rinses look better with blazers and dress shirts. Avoid skinny cuts unless you are selling creative work.”

Shoes – “Rich brown or caramel colored shoes (with matching belt) are a staple. Unless you wearing a formal suit or reffing a game, stay away from black shoes.”

What MindFULL essentials do you rely on? Let us know!