Really?

Wow.  I never cease to amaze myself with the number of people I know who are perfectly comfortable saying EXACTLY what they think. What puzzles me is why with some, I am deeply appreciative of their honesty and can laugh and with others I want to say, “ Reallllly?  Was that necessary?”  Seems to me, there is a fine line and an art to saying what you think in a way that doesn’t offend.

To remind myself of this, I keep the following saying in a frame by my land line (notice I didn’t say telephone? Does anyone even call it a telephone anymore? But, I digress…). I can only pray that on a good day, I remember.

The Sufis advise us to speak only after our words have managed to pass through three gates.

At the first gate, we must ask ourselves, “are these words true?” If so, we must let them pass on; if not, back they go.

At the second gate, we must ask ourselves, “are these words necessary?” If so, we let them pass on; if not, back they go.

At the last gate, we must ask, “Are they kind?”

How do you mindFULLY say what you really think? Let us know!

Splitting Hairs

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

“Well,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only
two hairs on her head. “H-M-M, ” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had
only one hair on her head. “Well,” she said, “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “YEAH!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

Attitude is everything.

As the saying goes: “The kind of life you will have isn’t determined by what happens to you, its determined by your reaction to what happens to you.”


How do you mindFULLY re-frame  your attitude? Let us know!

The Zen of Housecleaning

A few weeks ago, I moderated focus groups for a large financial institution that sought to understand how people plan for retirement. After two days of  active listening, I began to take the pulse of my own financial health.

This is not new for me. Over the years, I’ve done many financial services projects and I’ve always come home with something to think about. Years ago, my first project with financial advisers led to a now bi-annual meeting with my husband at a local Deli to review “where we are” (I find that if we talk in public, I am less likely to cry). For several reasons tho’, last weeks project hit me hard. The night after I returned home, I thought about quite a lot and as I sat in my nook and pondered how I was spending money, I noticed how often I was sneezing. And then, it hit me.

I have never raised a rag to wipe a surface.

Since I was a teenager, I have accused my mother of switching babies at the hospital and depriving me of my royal birthright. Clearly I was not meant to do housecleaning. For 21 years of marriage, through good times and tight times, I have had someone clean for us every 2 weeks.

But let’s be real. We have a one-year lease on a 2,000sq ft condo and it doesn’t warrant a cleaning lady that charges more per hour than my daughter’s teacher is making.

And so, realizing that if I simply picked up a rag and stayed on top of it, I would save close to $3,000 a year, I embarked on a cleaning frenzy this weekend and proclaimed, “I am going to clean the condo and save toward things I want.”

See, it’s not about depriving myself. Rather it’s about reframing money and having a sense of control and choice. I could easily spend the money on a cleaning lady, but it seems to me that I would rather take a trip to China, make a substantial community donation and know that I have a few extra dollars in case of an emergency. Not forever, but for NOW. As my friend Tamara says, ” it’s about doing more with less”  vs thinking I have less for more.

On top of it all, picking up that rag also became a chance to teach my 12 year old daughter that we are fully capable of making smart financial choices that are empowering. Yesterday we went shopping for clothes. We talked while we shopped. When we came home, she redid her closet and folded everything in her laundry basket that really didn’t need to be washed. I cleaned her bathroom and together we cleared off her bookshelves and made her bed. By helping  keep her room clean, she was learning the value of the clothes we bought and how to make a bed when she lives on her own.

We’ll see how long this lasts. But really, who cares. Its about the insight to be conscious and to own the choices we make; to move towards the financial security that we all crave and to let go of thinking that if only we had the life we were meant to have, it would all be OK. It is already better than OK. It’s great. We are all so lucky to have any choice at all. Why not use it to create the life we want?

Do you have any tips on MindFULL cleaning that you can share? Let us know!

What Next?

While today is MindFULL Monday and the last real day of summer (school and work start tomorrow), for many of my friends it’s the start of a new life story. Many are closing their old books and sending their kids off to college for the first time. It’s huge. I can’t imagine, as my child is still navigating middle school. However, for many dear ones, there are lots of emotions and thoughts flying around. I am struck by how many are pondering the question, “What Next?” As old chapters end and new chapters begin, getting clear on a new life direction can be challenging. Picking up the pen and writing “Next” can be daunting.

Unless you are lucky enough to have someone like Tama Kieves whispering words of wisdom in your ear.

Tama wrote the book, This Time I Dance. Creating the Work You Love/How One Harvard Lawyer Left It All To Have It All. Lucky for me, Tama lives in Denver and while reading her book can inspire you to step into your life, looking into her eyes and seeing them sparkle can gently get you to lift your foot.

I’ve talked with Tama about different  ideas, desires and dreams over the years.  How sometimes I hold myself back. How certain projects bring out fear and others bring out creative genius. Learning to excavate our “why’s” can take time. Taking action, while taking time, is where someone like Tama can come in. She’s been there. Did all the things she was “supposed” to do.  And almost croaked along the way. But she triumphs. Her story inspires introspection, her courage inspires permission.

Lucky for you, you don’t have to live in Denver to hear her speak, read her words or dance with her under a foreign sky. Check out her website. http://www.AwakeningArtistry.com Sign up for her inspirational newsletter. Read her book. Pack your bag and spend a weekend with her on a retreat. Do a phone session. The least you’ll do is gently pick up the pen – and who knows what you’ll begin to write next!

As you MindFULLY think about new chapters this Fall,  what’s “Next” for you? Let us know!

Words To Live By

I love the feeling of an “aha moment”. My word for such moments is “cell-abration”. It’s the feeling you get on a cellular level; the feeling of REALLY getting something and experiencing a life changing paradigm shift. I am rocking right now with all that I have learned as I have had the privilege of spending time time with people I love over the last month, and reading articles that have been piled up for months. Some of their words to live by include:

People tell you who they are. Listen. – My friend, Barb

Age is a Privilege – Laura Linney

Put your energy where it pays dividends – My friend, Ellen

Arrange the pieces that come your way – Virgina Wolfe

Don’t Complain and Don’t Explain – Wayne Dyer

The little nice things that happen along the way? They’re called  G-d winks – Cousin Evan

The whiter  the bread, the faster  you’re dead – Dr. Amen

Things don’t happen to us, they happen for us – Michael Berg

The Universe works in a circle – Mom

As you get older you realize that good enough, is good enough – Auntie Susan

My travel  journal is filled with new ideas and thoughts from time spent  with people I am the better  for. Gotta say “g-d winks” is my favorite. I experience them all the time. Especially when something happens that reinforces what I learned above. Wink, wink.

What words do you MINDFULLY live by? Let us know!

music, memories and martinis

Marc Cohn has a new cd out and it’s called Listening Booth. He has taken songs from 1970 (when I was 12) and given them a contemporary spin. I love it.Not only for the songs themselves, but for the soundtrack it provides to this adventure I am currently on.

You see, I just visited my 12 year old at summer camp and this weekend was my 30th high school reunion. Both events can’t help but force me to travel down memory lane. I work hard to live in the moment, but sometimes a quick jaunt can remind you of how far down the lane you have travelled and how appreciative you are of where you are now.

I absolutely adore my 12 year old. She is far wiser, funnier, smarter and easier than I was at that age. I sit on the Board of Smart-Girls (www.smart-girl.org), an organization that gives girls the tools they need to navigate the tumultuous tween/teen years, and still my heart aches for the trials and “girl stuff” girls go through. I do what I can to cheer my daughter on and guide her through it, but listening to Marc’s music reminds me that we all have our journey in this life and soon the details of this time will simply serve her well and become part of her life tapestry. Still, 12 can be hard and I remember how hard it was for me. Somehow tho’, the memories add to my compassion and empathy. And the music reminds me of both.

Following on the heels of visiting day, was a trip to see my dear friend from high school. Knowing I would not be in town for the reunion weekend, we coordinated my visit so that we could at least be together, if not there. I love my friend and laugh endlessly with her about who we were and who we are. I sit at her kitchen table with ease and enjoy her kids, who have their own music to live by. Last night, as we sipped coconut cloud martinis with our reading glasses perched on the tips of our noses, my friend’s daughter played her iPod. So much of what we heard was a re-mix of music from high school. What does this say about how music follows us down the path?

Music, memories and martinis. It the stuff that life is made of. Cheers!

What MINDFULL music would you choose to match when you were 12 or 17? Let us know!

A MindFULL Vacation

If you could see the sign hanging off the tip of my brain, it would say “gone fishing…for new ideas”.  We all talk about how important it is to step outside of our lives and slow down, but how often do we give ourselves permission or time to really take the step?

In order to fill our minds with ideas and thoughts we are the better for, we must first empty our minds of the clutter. Easier said than done, but with a change of scene for an hour, day or week, I find that the clutter starts to fall off and my mind is, once again, open to new ideas. Its like taking a long swim in the cool ocean on a hot summer day.

This summer, I was clinging pretty close to the shore. I didn’t feel like wading out into the summer water, so to speak, but I am so glad I did. A little change of scene has helped and once again, I am busy filling my journal.

I had forgotten about my journal – a small book that my friend Tamara taught me to easily make:  simply cut out words and pictures that mean something to you and glue them onto 1/2 of an 8×11 colorful page. Take the the page to Kinkos, where they can laminate  it and bind it to several sheets of plain white paper — and viola’! A journal for collecting ideas, all in one place and easy to refer back to it and use.

Before I head back out to the sand, here are a few ideas in my summer journal,  so far:

Black Mango tea – great iced

Pine Nuts – toast em and then roll ready to bake cookies in them for an extra little pizzaz!

Drizzle grape-seed oil on avocado, orange slices and dill

Collect stones of similar shapes and sizes and paint them — you can find little ones and make them look like green olives and fill a martini glass with them for a fun centerpiece ; you can paint them with designs and get a big piece of wood for a home-made checker board, you can lay them in a pattern by the back door and fill the spaces with cement, thus creating a small area for a table and chair, flower pots or a path in your yard.

Tunics are totally in! Fun colors and lightweight cotton make them ideal for hot days – paired with leggings and or thin white jeans, they are a fun summer uniform. Very “Mad Men”.

How do you empty your mind and refill it with MindFULL ideas? Let us know!

Summer Needs Some Spirit

You’d think as it is summer, that I would be well rested and my creative spirit would soar. Sadly, I am feeling just the opposite and all I want to do is lie on my bed and watch hulu.com. It’s not like me, but I am tired. Really tired. It’s a high class problem – too much to do, too many wonderful people to see, too little time.

So, I have dug deep and pulled out some creative jump-starts. One is cooking, one is finding the perfect gifts for thanking all the people I will have to thank this summer for all the nice things they are about to do for me and one is learning with a fabulous teacher and fun, heartfelt and creative spirit who simply helps me see the world in a whole new way.

First, the food. Everyone has some where to go and has to bring something to the party. I was on for dessert Saturday night at dinner club and I brought home-made s’mores. Crazy – but fun and actually tasty!

I made the graham crackers http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/000126.html, I made the marshmallows http://www.sugarlaws.com/homemade-marshmallows and I bought good old Hershey’s chocolate. Two tips: make sure you roll the cracker batter thinly (mine were more like Graham bricks) and let the marshmallows set for as along as you can. They gel better. But these were fine and fun! A new twist on an old summer staple!

Moving on to gifts, check out Barbara Solway’s work. http://www.solwayart.com

Hand painted wooden bowls and fiber art pieces (bags, wall hangings, etc) all hold Barbara’s unique style and eye. They are truly works of art and will surely delight the recipient. We gave a Solway bowl to my Dad and Pam for their anniversary. They are lovers of wood and glass. I have a small purse to wear across my chest when I travel and another small bag I keep my personals in. Addie has a fiber heart hanging from her bedroom doorknob and the mirror in the picture below, rests in my study. My back faces the doorway and I use the mirror to fix the feng shui. Its complex simplicity stimulates me on a subconscious level every time I look at it.

And then there is Judith Cassel-Mamet at http://www.jcmamet.net. Pick up a glue stick and be prepared to let the hours fly by. Judith teaches all sorts of mixed media art techniques. If you click on my past entry on travel journals, you will find an example of one technique. I will do a whole entry on a fun idea that Judith will help me share with you, but in the meantime, check out her site and blog. There are so many fun ideas and links to other creative spirits. I guarantee you will find SOMETHING that gives you an idea and makes your day a little more saucy.

Just writing this entry has gotten my juice flowing again. Imagine if I logged off the computer and picked up my glue stick, just how energized I could be. Hmmm… think I’ll find out!

How do you MINDfully get over being tired and get your energy flowing? Let us know!

Bits And Pieces

Have you ever been sitting around a table with your  friends and really looked at them and wondered, “who are these people and how did I get here?”  As I laughingly asked myself that question the other night,  I thought of an old poem that I used to have tacked to my bulletin board. When I got home,  I dug it out and re-read it,  remembering what I  liked about it. May it have relevance for you and bring you ease as you reflect on the people in your life today and on days gone by. Have faith, that no matter how easy or difficult a relationship, it has something to teach you. Take the lesson and be grateful. And never wonder and never regret…

Bits and Pieces

People cross your life, touch it with love and carelessness and move on. There are people who leave you and you breathe a sigh of relief and wonder why you ever came in contact with them.  There are people who leave and you breathe a sigh of remorse and wonder why they had to go away and leave such a gaping hole. Children leave parents, friends leave friends, acquaintances move on. People change houses, people grow apart, enemies hate and move on. You think of the many who have moved into your hazy memory. You look upon present people and wonder. I believe in G-d’s master plan in life. He moves people in and out of each others lives and each leaves a mark. You find you are made up of bits and pieces of all who ever touched your life and you are more because of this  and you would be less if they had not touched you. Pray that you accept the bits and pieces with humility and wonder, and never question and never regret. Bits and pieces…bits and pieces.

_Lois Cheney, G-d Is  No Fool

How do you MindFULLY accept your bits and pieces? Let us know!

A Festival Full of Ideas

It’s MindFULL Monday AND Memorial Day. How fun is that? In the spirit enjoying a mindfull weekend and doing fun things, we spent yesterday in Boulder. For those of you who have never been there, I highly recommend a visit. Nestled at the foot of the Flatirons, Boulder is a cool college town with a high social conscience and a clear blue sky.

The Boulder Creek Festival is a Memorial Day tradition. Loaded with people watching, games for kids and booths filled with Healers, hand-made jewelry and organic goodies,  it’s a wonderful place to go for new ideas.

One of the best ideas we saw this year was from a company called ENO. They created a light weight hanging chair that would make swinging on your porch on lazy summer eves as sweet as honey drizzled over  fresh brie and pears. Another ideas  was of wind chimes made with metal carvings, beads and bells. The carvings included animals and words. It was as if  your saying was speaking to you each time the wind blew.

Much to my personal delight, I heard Rebecca Folsom on stage by the food tents playing one of my all time favorite songs, Lets Be Too Much! Rebecca is on my play list of Colorado Women Musicians. She often plays at the local folk music school and I just love her music. Check her out on i-Tunes.

My daughter brought a friend and their laughter wafted through the air as they bungee jumped, caught bubbles and savored handmade crepes for lunch.  We even witnessed  a flash mob dancing to Lady Gaga’s  Bad Romance! It was a day that made you revel in the moment and delight in the walking of the woman on stilts. A wonderful moment and awesome balance – great reminders that summer is on its way!

What MindFULL ways remind you that summer is coming? Let us know!