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MindFULL Style

This weekend I “turned my closet over.” I brought all of summer wears to the basement, fluffed up my sweaters and dusted off my boots. Fall is in the air, and I love it.

For my birthday this year, my friend Colette gave me a great book., Advanced Style. I wasn’t offended. Rather, I was inspired. Growing older is a blessing. Not everyone gets the chance. And so I plan to take the coming years with grace and wear clothes that reflect life. My grandparents were in the retail business and my Zadie always said that the feel of the fabric was most important. As I grow older, I appreciate owning one well made garment; I think it adds to a style and brings in a little story, as well.

As I perused my closet and figured out what still fit and what wasn’t working any more, I remembered a column of “clothing basics” sent by another friend, Erica, marking this pivotal fashion year. I’ve reprinted it below. Next week, I’ll do a list for my favorite male readers. Some of them are so cute, they too, inspire style.

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1. Skinny black jeans. You need a pair. Dress them up for the office or down for day.

2. A crisp, white button-down shirt. It suggests clean, cool confidence in the workplace, but unbutton two buttons and it’s the ultimate in sex appeal for night.

3. A go-to dress. It doesn’t have to be a little black dress. It’s even better sometimes if it’s not, because color makes a bolder statement. But it should fit perfectly and make you feel beautiful.

4. A classic black pump. It has to have at least a four-inch heel to boost your height and confidence. (Okay, fine. A three-inch heel if you must.)

5. A bright mini. It’s great to have one that’s a really bright color because it makes you stand out in a crowd. You can wear it for day—just pair it with an oversize men’s white sweater—or nighttime, with a silk camisole.

6. A bold piece of jewelry. Think: necklace, bangle, large ring, large earrings. I have a big necklace that I keep in my drawer at work, and it dresses up any outfit. A statement piece allows your personal style to shine, especially if the rest of your outfit is conservative.

7. A fitted blazer. A great-fitting blazer is a girl’s most invaluable staple. Pop the collar, roll the sleeves, or add a cool brooch to make it your own.

8. A colorful clutch. This one’s especially crucial if you have a closet full of blacks or neutrals. A splash of color will liven up the simplest outfit—not to mention your mood.

9. Black opaque tights. They’re so warm and practical, and they instantly make a dress look professional.

10. A lace tank. Wear it underneath your V-neck during the day or peeking out from under a jacket in the evening.

11. Ballet flats. They’re feminine and comfortable, and you can wear them anywhere and always look pulled together. I personally love a blue ballet flat.

12. A soft, luxurious white T-shirt. It has to be a great-quality one that feels good on your skin. You can wear it with everything else in your wardrobe. And if you find one you really love, buy three.

Anne Christensen, forty-five, is the executive fashion director of Glamour. She has also served as fashion director of The New York Times’ T Magazine, and her styling has been featured in the American, Italian, and Chinese editions of Vogue.

What do you MindFULLY wear that makes you feel stylish and comfortable? Let us know!

Ten Small Words

Several years ago, I posted about one of my favorite sites: http://www.headbutler.com. At Head Butler, you can find reviews of books, music, movies and products. Head Butler is Jesse Kornbluth, a magazine journalist who loves all things cultural – he sees himself as sort of a cultural concierge. He’s my cultural idol.

He always seems to find something new and fresh to share. My intention as well; but I am not as good these days at putting myself into the thick of things.

That’s why, every week, I devour his email.

A few weeks ago, I was struck by the column below. What stood out for me, in addition to the story he tells, are the 10 words he hears in a song- Am I a Blessing to Everyone I Meet?

Straight to the heart.

Check out his post (recopied here for your ease) and then click through to his site. Sign up. Perhaps there will be something you see that will enable you to answer, Yes.

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It-s embarrassing. No, really, it-s humiliating to admit this, but somebody wronged me in 1989 and I still haven-t dealt with it. I-ve tiptoed right up to the door of a conversation I need to have with this person, a close friend who very nearly cost me the best job I’d ever had, but I-ve never taken the final step and told her that I know what she did and asked why she did it. I have my reasons — I mean: I have my rationalizations — and first among them is that I have, from day one, known why she did it: She was desperate, there was something she had to have, and it made no difference what lie she had to tell about a close friend to get it.

One could have compassion for someone so over her head that it didn-t matter who she had to burn to survive. But for more than two decades, I haven-t been able to forgive this person. When I think of her — and it-s not often — I-m suddenly sitting on a powder keg of fury, with no way to locate compassion or forgiveness.

In a moment like that — a moment of loathing for her and self-loathing for myself — I heard a song from Brandi Carlile-s new CD, –Bear Creek. That Wasn-t Me.- It-s about addiction — not hers — and dealing with it, and that person changing, and friends wanting to believe in that change. It-s about love and compassion and hope, emotions that Brandi Carlile can access with astonishing speed. [To watch/hear the video, click here ( http://headbutler.pmailus.com/pmailweb/ct?d=WZxhdQGhAAEAAA2iAAZIhw ) .] Of course I bawled when I first heard it — the way I know something is Art is that it makes me cry — and I got teary all over again the next dozen times I heard it. So I stopped playing the CD. For a never-before reason: It was too good. [To buy -Bear Creek- from Amazon, click here ( http://headbutler.pmailus.com/pmailweb/ct?d=WZxhdQGhAAEAAA8qAAZIhw ) . For the MP3 download, click here ( http://headbutler.pmailus.com/pmailweb/ct?d=WZxhdQGhAAEAAA_8AAZIhw ) .]

But now there-s been an event — you don-t need the details — that has reminded me of this long-distant betrayal. And the wrong done to me has been gnawing at me. Often. So, seeking solace in somebody else-s drama, I put on -Bear Creek- again. And, in -That Wasn-t Me,- I heard the words fresh: -Do I make myself a blessing to everyone I meet?-

And you know what? I don-t. It-s not obvious that I don-t, because I can fake it as well as anyone in this city, but it became very clear to me that as long as I-m holding onto this bile, I-m treating everybody I deal with just a bit more defensively than I ought to. That-s got to stop. And I-m gonna stop it.

Why tell this story?

I-m not minimizing the importance of entertainment — life is hard, a good night out is to be cherished — but some entertainers are healers as well as performers. And over three CDs, I find qualities in Brandi Carlile that are worthy of admiration. Healing qualities. And not, I’d bet, just for me.

How do you MindFULLY decide to change a behavior? Let us know!

MindFULL LIttle Luxuries Under $20

How often do you treat yourself? I am a firm believer in the old adage, “It’s the little things.” See, I am one of those people who goes all out and then crashes. Knowing this, I am always on the lookout for little ways to sooth myself and bring energy back into my Spirit.

While I’d really like to go to a spa or lounge at a house on the beach, I have to bear in mind that that ways to fill back up need to be a little more realistic — and affordable. What’s affordable? Say…around $20. There is something about a $20 bill for me. If I see something I like and it is $20 or less, I don’t give it a second thought. If it’s more, I ponder whether or not I really want it. So, my list is made up of little things that I can do for myself that cost under $20:

Good shampoo
Body wash instead of soap
Fresh flowers
Manicures
Hummus, olives and a glass of wine
A makeover at Nordstoms and a new colorful lipstick
Film to shoot
Colorful underwear and socks
A latte’ at the library
Going to the movies in the middle of the day
Really good hand lotion in a tube
Getting my car washed and vacuumed
A new journal
A new playlist
A large make my own frozen yogurt
A used book from Powells

What do you MindFULLY do for yourself that costs $20 or less?Add to our list and let us know!

Eat, Drink and Read

This from the pages of MORE magazine; a great concept that I will bring to my book club this year – Eat, Drink and Read. Oh ya, we already do that. We actually have trouble finding time to discuss the books.

So, in the spirit of keeping on with what you do best, I thought I’d share a great book and cocktail recommendation. Whether you are in a book club or not, I hope you find State of Wonder, by Ann Patchett, and an iced Blood Orange Cipirinha, an easy way to spend one of these warm summer days!

Blood Orange Caipirinha

1 blood orange

1 lime, cut into 8 wedges

4 tsp of super fine sugar

4 ounces Cachaca (Brazillian sugarcane liquor)

Cracked ice

Club soda

Cut the blood orange in half lengthwise. Squeeze half, set the juice aside.
Slice the other half into 4 wedges.
Place 4 lime wedges and 2 blood orange wedges in each of 2 rock glasses. Add 2 teaspoons sugar to each. Muddle the sugar and wedges. Fill each glass with ice to the top. Divide the blood orange juice between the glasses. Pour 2 ounces Cachaca over each. Transfer the contents of each glass, one at a time, to a cocktail shaker; shake vigorously, and return to the glass. Top off with club soda.

What delicious books have you MindFULLY read this summer?

Let us know!

MindFULL Vacation

It’s time for me to take a few weeks off from writing and head out into the summer heat in search of new ideas and thoughts to share. I’ll be back at the end of July with a mind full of observations, tips and insights gathered from some of my favorite people and places.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this question to ponder and “discuss amongst yourselves” …

What is the most significant life lesson you have learned thus far

that has truly impacted how you live?

How did you MindFULLY learn this life lesson? Let us know!

Half A Million Secrets

Everyone has one (or some). “Secrets can take many forms — they can be shocking, or silly, or soulful.” Says Frank Warren. . Warren is the creator of PostSecret.com, a blog full of secrets anonymously shared via postcard. It’s the most visited advertisement free blog in the world.

What do you think? Could you post your secret there?

I loved this TED talk about the site. http://www.ted.com/talks/frank_warren_half_a_million_secrets.html It stirred something deep inside. I loved how people put their secrets out there. I loved their stories; I imagined how they lead to relief, happiness, connection and lightness.

I once had a secret and it took me years to tell someone I thought should know. When I finally told her during dinner one night, she literally looked at me and said, ‘Really. Hmmm. Well, did you know ….” And then proceeded to tell me HER story and basically said, “Pass the ketchup.”

All those years and that was the response. Too bad Frank’s blog wasn’t up yet. I sure wasted a lot of energy. Don’t waste yours. Stop by and post your secret. No one will know its yours and yet, everyone will know it. Imagine how good that could feel to let it out. And then, imagine how good it could feel to let something else that lightens your heart, in.

Do you MindFULLY keep your secrets or do they just keep you? Let us know!

MindFULL Monday

We returned last night from two fabulous weeks in Spain (Barcelona, Marbella, Madrid). I collected many MindFULL thoughts to share, but at this moment, I am so jet lagged, I can’t think of more than how to make my American coffee and how good it tastes.

However, I am determined to kick my jetlag by re-entering routines and posting on MindFULL Monday is one of them. My last two posts were written and programmed to post while I was away. I forgot this one. So, in the spirit of follow through, I wanted to share a MindFULL Moment.

One of the things I thought about while away was how grateful I was to be able to change our scene. For me, with changed scenery comes change in perspective. I observe new people (their attitudes, clothes, taste), I take in new ideas from my surroundings, I touch places that have come before me and remember that my time here is limited and that i need to make the most of it.

Change in perspective is one of my favorite experiences. It makes my MindFULL Moments that much richer in emotional, physical and spiritual texture.

It was intense before we left. We got mired in the saying good bye to a small, cloistered school that my daughter attended for 10 years. It brought up ALOT of feelings. It seems silly now, but it was terribly real then. Heading out of our world to a new a country, gave us some perspective. Everyone seems to feel lighter and more hopeful about the future. Worth every mile.

Another way I have found to change my perspective is in the collection of graduation speeches given around this time of year. I offer the link to the speech given by David McCullough Jr., the English Teacher (and son of famed historian David McCullough) at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts. You may have already seen or heard about it?

http://bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1061137286

No matter your reaction, I think it offers another MindFULL perspective. What do you think?

How do you MindFULLY change YOUR perspective? Let us know!

MindFULLY Motivated

Have you ever wanted to do something but couldn’t quite get your mojo going and then, something catches your eye and you are off and “running”?

Well, I have talked of “wanting” to run forever. And yet my pace around the park has remained at a steady walk. Until yesterday.

As I was picnicking on the park bench with my daughter, this young lady ran by.

She was in great shape and had we not looked below her waist and seen the glimmering silver post and slipper, we’d have never known that she had a prosthetic leg. It was beyond inspiring.

So, When I got home, I pulled out an old list of running songs to load on my iPod and decided that today would be the first day of my lap around the park.

I know I recently shared a post on songs, but here is one more list for you to load:

Better Off Alone Alice Deejay

Dogs Says Are Over Florence & The Machine

Hung Up Madonna

I Run For Life Melissa Ethridge

One More Time Deft Punk

The Rising Bruce Springsteen

Rolling In The Deep Adele

Gotta run and lace up my sneakers. The siren of inspiration is calling!

What have you MindFULLY been meaning to do? Let us know!

50 Ways To Remember

Ya know the old adage, “When you hear something twice, pay attention”? Well, recently, from two different sources, I was encouraged to write 50 things I like about myself or am good at or that I’ve done well in my life and read it each day for 50 days (yes, 50 has a significance, wink -wink).

It’s not easy!

And yet, we could easily do it for a friend.

I decided to give it a try. And I have to say, that on days when the clouds blow in and everyone else seems to have it together so much better than I do, I pull it out and remind myself of so many good things I forget to remember.

So, I pass on to you, the same assignment. Give yourself a summer reading list that is sure to top the charts.

After all, you are a Bestseller.

What’s the one thing you are MindFULLY glad you got to write down?

Let us know!

Life and Summer’s MindFULL Music

If there was a song that summed up who you are, or reflected where you are at this point in time, what would it be?

The song for my life thus far would be Carol King’s Tapestry.

I was inspired to think about this after watching my daughter use music to reflect on her 10 years of learning in school thus far. Called a Portfolio Defense, the kids show their work and talk about what they’ve gained, academically and personally.

She set her Defense to a musical soundtrack, and the overarching song was Green Day’s Good Riddance – Time of Your Life (the title makes the song sound negative, but it isn’t. It’s actually very sweet). She chose a different song to reflect each year. Then, when she graduated, the teacher who spoke of her used the same theme and dug deeper into the lyrics from her Life Tracks. He talked of who she was, what she contributed and how music reflected her life and love. It was touching.

That’s what music does. It touches our memory, stirs our present and creates a backdrop of something greater than we are.

I try and make a cd of new music for every season. I look to friends, movies, magazine lists and iTune trials for inspiration. In the March issue of Vanity Fair (www.vanityfair.com) they list several movies and songs from their soundtracks. I thought I’d share a few that sounded good to me:

New York New York Carey Mulligan

My Week With Marilyn Soundtrack

Memories Are Made of This Dean Martin

We Bought A Zoo Soundtrack

The Help Soundtrack

Pusher Man Curtis Mayfield

Check out the issue. There are so many more they list. Maybe you’ll find something that you speaks to you. Then turn up the volume on your life and Let The Good Times Roll!

What songs will you compile to set a MindFULL Summer playlist? Let us know!