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Frank

Sad News. Over the weekend, authorities think they may have found Frank.

Not much has been said, but according to news reports, “The body of a man thought to be Frank Stanley, 44, was found during a search Saturday in the Pike National Forest. His family was notified of the discovery, a family spokeswoman said Saturday. Stanley’s sister confirmed the death to 7News, and a family friend said his body was recovered from a fall of more than 100 feet.”

Ugh. My heart sank at the news. I was truly holding out for a happier ending. Knowing Frank, I was praying that he had set up camp somewhere and was using the skills and intelligence with which he taught my daughter, to keep himself safe until he was found.

School starts tomorrow. Looks life this year’s lesson is about life.

We talk of only having this moment. Of not knowing what time brings. Of only getting one real chance at life and of the question, “How are you going to live it?”

Please do not let Frank’s passing be in vain. Let it be a reminder of what matters to you. And then let it be how you live.

Our family heart goes out to Frank’s family.

May he be of blessed memory. Amen.

A Prayer For Frank

Today’s MindFULL Creative posting is about the power of prayer. It’s about holding out hope.

This blog is supposed to be about ideas and musings that inspire. But no matter how we try, sometimes life intercedes and we are overcome with fear and sadness. It’s a part of life. So, as I sat down yesterday to write, I couldn’t help but notice that all of the fun things I had lined up to write about didn’t really matter in the face of my own fear and sadness.

One of my daughter’s teachers has gone missing.

According to news reports, Frank has been missing since July 25 near Bison Peak in SE Colorado). His blue Jeep was found Thursday at the Lost Park trailhead after friends reported that he had failed to return from a hike. Park County Sheriff Fred Wegener said the search began Thursday night and includes four search teams, including one canine unit.

Yesterday a group of parents joined in the search. Late evening emails suggest that there is more of a Search and Rescue game plan formulating, but still no idea of how this happened. Teachers reported to school today. Classes begin next week. Everyone is concerned and anxious.

When my daughter returned home from camp yesterday, we told her the news. Ever optimistic, she suggested that Frank, a loner, simply extended his camping stay. But her eyes misted and she, too, knew that this was serious.

It’s my worse nightmare. A missing child. No matter the age, you always worry about their well-being. All I can think about is Mrs. Stanley and her angst.

So, in the spirit of MindFULL Mondays, can we all simply stop for a moment and send a prayer out to Frank; that he is using his Boy Scout skills to stay alive and to his family, that they receive their son back safely. Being inspired isn’t simply about doing something. Its about being something. Compassionate. Caring. Mindful.

Let today be MindFULLY full of recognizing all that you hold dear. And please, let us pray for Frank.

How do you MindFULLY hold out hope? Let us teach each other. Let us know!

Symbols

This week is my 49^th birthday. I can’t believe I am going to be 49. On one hand, I am glad to be 49 (I lost a friend to breast cancer when we were 36). On the other hand, 49 means a lot of time has passed!

Some folks tell me I don’t look 49. What does 49 look like?

Recently, I was talking with my friend and art muse, Judith Cassell-Mamet (www.jcmamet.net) about my new “journal for my birthday” ritual. For years I would get a new black and white composition book for doodling and collecting ideas. Then I met Judith and Tamara (another friend and awesome creative muse) and they taught me how to make my own journals.

Making a journal is pretty easy: Take any size paper you’d like and decoupage anything you want on it. Grab a stack of printer paper and head to the nearest copy store. Ask them to laminate the decoupaged piece of paper and bind it with the printer paper. Viola’! A journal that means something to YOU.

As such, I was pondering what this birthday’s journal cover would be. Given my obsession with the number 49, I decided to take this year and make it the year of numbers. Combined with my interest in using my camera more often, I was looking forward to seeing how those numbers appear in the world around me.

The crazy thing is that the moment I said this out loud to Judith (she was driving), I looked out the car window and there on the street were 4 cymbals sitting in front of a Jazz bar. 4. I took them to be a “symbol” and have put this picture on the cover of my new birthday book.

Then I realized that this moth is 8/11. And my birthday is 8/11! Nothing to do with 4 and 9, but kinda cool in the number realm.

I always say my husband is the numbers guy. Maybe this year, as I get more comfortable with looking for numbers, I’ll learn how to balance my checkbook, too. OK, maybe I’ll just take it one number at a time.

It’s all fun. And it’s all just a number. What really matters is how you feel. And I feel 36.

What’s your MindFULL age vs the number of the birthday coming up? Let us know!

Crack Up To What It’s Supposed To Be

My daughter is away at camp for 3 weeks. I had visions of catching up, resting up and attending to all of the things I had on my list for the last year. For sure at the top was seeing friends and dining in the backyard.

The vision I missed was the one where I was so bone tired that I found myself feeling cracked. Like the pipe in our powder room. The one that set our powder room floor awave. The one that the plumbers said they couldn’t find and then let out an “oh, here it is…”

I also missed the vision of re-doing the basement bathroom. Who knew the powder room down there was experiencing water damage and new mold. Really? Argh. I wanted to spend my days laughing with friends and shopping at the new IKEA. Instead, I was tethered to the house waiting for workmen again.

But in the waiting, something shifted. I realized that I wasn’t quite as cracked as I thought. I was tired, but actually leaning toward grateful. Grateful for the friend who noticed the floor. Grateful that I have great plumbers who made me the first stop the next morning. Grateful that the cost to fix the pipe was reasonable to me. Grateful that my husband could understand what the heck the mold guy was talking about and could take time off of work to be here, when I couldn’t be.

Grateful it wasn’t worse.

It’s so easy to get caught up in what goes wrong. But what about getting caught up in what goes right? How about appreciating the people who show up and help? Or the job you have that pays you well enough that you can afford to fix it? How about the cold ice in the freezer to fill your glass at the end of the day, as you reflect on how it really will be?. Or the knowing that your family is safe and that no one is sick from it?

Now, when I walk by the plastic trash bag covering the hole in the wall to the basement, I see it as canvas. I can project anything I want on it. And the bathroom in the basement? Well, hopefully Tuesday will bring news of nothing serious and the boys can get to dry walling it back up. Worst thing, we have it remediated and I re-tile the whole thing. And, if I get to repaint it? Purple it is!

Years ago, a wise friend gave me a coffee cup. It’s a great color green and says, “Friends”. Over many washings it developed a chip in the rim and a crack down the side, but it still holds liquid. I love to use it. Every time I look at it, I feel like she is reminding me that we are all cracked. And still, we are able to hold what we need to.

How do you MindFULLY crack and then use what is broken to make something new? Let us know!

ReCharging

A while ago, my dear friend Erica, shared a website with me – greatwomenseries.com. The site, created by someone she knows, is billed as “Uncommon words of wisdom from bestselling authors, artists, athletes, scientists, survivors, healers, and shining spirits.” Heck, who couldn’t use a little wisdom now and then?

The first interview I read was with Beth Hoffman. Not only did I enjoy the interview, but absolutely loved reading the comments other women posted in response. I resonated with much of what they wrote and found the promised wisdom.

For me, the wisdom came from one woman who compared herself to a character in Beth’s book, Saving CeeCee Honeycutt. She talked about being a “Loner” vs an “Aloner”. An “Aloner” is a person who gives so deeply that requires much time to regroup and recharge. Finally, a way to understand my own need to spend time by myself without feeling like something is wrong with me! It was like seeing a part of myself that had been out of focus.

I love to be in the world, but over the last 6 months I have had alot of world and not alot of down time. And that is not a good combo for my Spirit. So, last week, when I put my daughter on the plane for a long weekend in Florida, I headed straight for the 2pm matinee. One of my favorite “down times” is taking myself to an afternoon movie. I saw Larry Crown. I didn’t like it and found it an indulgent vehicle for Tom Hanks to set himself up to make out with Julia Roberts. But, I loved sitting in the dark for 2 hours, transported from a world of “must-do”, to a world of “can-do when I want.”

I share the site with you in the hopes that you, too, will find a little wisdom for the day. Maybe there is an interview or a book or a comment that will help you find a piece of yourself. Maybe a piece of someone you love. Either way, may you simply find a piece of peace. Afterall, isn’t that worth re-charging for?

How do you MindFULLY recharge? Let us know!

One Box At A Time

I once sat next to a man on a plane, who told me his management style was based on the saying, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” I never really understood that saying. But when the moving truck(s) pulled up last Thursday, I got it.

What you can’t tell from the picture is that there are two trucks – and the truck nose is leading a semi. The little truck was from the condo and the semi was the truck of all things from storage. Really? I could have sworn we gave more stuff away.

(On the subject of getting rid of stuff, a quick digression: A few weeks ago we were having dinner at a pizza parlor in another part of town and the waiter looked so familiar. After a few trips to our table, we all commented on how we might know each other and it turned out he was one of the “College Hunks Who Haul Junk” who came to the old house 3x to haul away stuff! That’s how much stuff I could have sworn we got rid of.)

But alas, it took 13 hours to move everything into our new house. And as I watched the guys carry in box after box, I wondered how I would ever make this house a home. I started to get that pain in my chest and the voice in my head screamed, “Why did you move?” But then, another voice, a voice that had moved numerous times in my life, chimed in and whispered, “One box at a time…”. And so, I set about focusing on one box a time and a funny thing happened; by Saturday night – there were no more boxes in the main rooms of the house – kitchen, family room, living room and bedrooms.

The smartest thing I did was hire Danny, the handyman, to come by every morning for a few days and take away the empty boxes as I unpacked them. Something about removing the clutter gave me the space to relax.

And now, on July 4^th, while there are still pics to be hung, rugs to buy and window treatments to coordinate, there is still much to celebrate. Friends are starting to drop by and with their laughter, are helping turn our house into a home.

I am going to apply the “one box at a time” theory to other parts of my life. There are plenty of places where it feels like it all has to be done at once. But as the list grows or the voice chirps in, I am picturing Danny carrying out the boxes. Everything in its’ time, my friends. Everything in its’ time.

How can you apply MindFULLY apply the “One Box At A Time” theory in your life? Let us know!

Slow Down

Ever get going really fast and an easy voice inside says, “slow down”? Sometimes I am going so fast that all I can hear is the harder voice that says, “come on…check one more thing off your list.”

Always looking for little things I can do throughout the day, when I travel and when I am up at 2am perseverating over life’s details, I seek simple ways to help me relax. I keep little reminders on the shelf above my computer desk. I have also literally written the words SLOW DOWN on a piece of paper and taped them to the mirror over my bathroom sink. Its not that I am wound up, but I do have a tendency to do a lot of things at the same time or go into “line em up and knock em down” mode as my friend, Ellen, says. I am very productive, but sometimes I can get going too fast and then I crash and burn.

A few weeks I came across the Healthy Living Lounge. http://www.thehealthylivinglounge.com/ I thought it sounded intriguing and was delighted to find some really helpful articles and tips. Below is one of them. So simple. And yet, so powerful.

Stop holding your breath!

When you start paying more attention to your breath you may find that you hold your breath more often than you realize. Simply being aware is the perfect first step towards slowing down your mind and heart rate. It gives you a chance to think clearly and to answer/speak/act from a more thoughtful space.

Slow down… Check it out…

How do you slow down and MindFULLY create a space to think from? Let us know!

Design on a Dime

One of our favorite HGTV shows is Design on a Dime. It shows you the $5,000 version of a room and the $500 version. I am always seeking ways to create what I see in magazines, shop windows and movies. Stimulating as this creative style can be, it can also border on crazy making. At least that’s how it felt while I was trying to re-create a “tile rug” we had seen in the Denver Design Center for our master bath.

When we bought the house, the Master bath was silly. While not very big, it was also impractical. It had this one green pedestal sink that looked like it landed. The owners tried to convince us it was worth something. And well, you know that saying…

The bathroom also had a toilet in the middle of the wall, hunter green tile and three little glass shelves.

The first thing we did was create space for a water closet and figured out how to fit a double vanity. Then we focused on what it would look like. How could we live with a small space and make it feel fun? On a visit to the Denver Design Center, we fell in love with a “tile rug” concept embedded on the showroom floor and budgeted for a small splurge.

Then reality hit. Did you know that when you like a tile, you wait a few days for them to tell you what it costs? After you scrape yourself off the floor, cause who knew tile could be so expensive, you then wait while they let you know when it will be in stock. (I thought they had it in the back room. Silly me, it was on their showroom floor, wouldn’t it be easy to get?) The tile rug we liked consisted of three different kinds of tile. After two and a half weeks of back and forth on how much we needed, the cost, etc. we got word that the center tile was “discontinued.” Really? Ya couldn’t have told me that two weeks ago when I asked about it? Not one to take no for an answer, I literally spent a week online trying to find it somewhere else. I was obsessed. I ended up at the same supply vendor that the Design Center was talking to and got the same answer. There were 5 sheets of it in a warehouse in CT. We needed 8.

OK, think…how about if we change the dimensions and use more of the circle surround tile? Great idea! Same scenario. Cost, time, etc only to find that the circle tile was in Turkey and would take 12 weeks to get here, if it was on time. Really? Why not tell me that in the beginning? We needed it in 4.

So, after I had a Customer Service meltdown (a common reaction throughout this journey), we let it go and set about making our own version. I scoured the web for tile options and landed at the Floor and Décor outlet on line, where I found a circle tile for 1/3 the price of the Turkish circles. We went to Dahl to find a reasonable insert (again 1/3 the price) and the sale section of Capco to find the slate surround (they practically paid me to take it). Same concept as the Designer rug, different execution.

Friday they laid it and we love it! It not only looks good, it feels good and will be a symbol for me everyday – when I look at it, it will remind me of what a little creativity and hard work can produce. We actually ended up creating something that worked even better than what disappointed us earlier.

Now, why don’t they make that concept into a TV show?

How do you MindFULLY find ways to Design on a Dime? Let us know?

The Not So Big House

“Oh my gosh, WHY DID YOU MOVE – you had such a big, beautiful house!” asked an acquaintance in the parking lot of the grocery store last week. Good question, I thought. It was not such a good week – I was coming to terms with a new move in date, I was overwhelmed with details in several parts of my life and my stamina was waning.

To boot, I had driven by our old house on Monday, and say what I will about it, it had great curb appeal. Our new house will, too. It’s just that we are in full swing, re-model mode and it is hard to see the garden through the weeds.

In spite of my mood, I know we have done the right thing. Years ago, I read the Not So Big House: A Blueprint for the Way We Really Live by Sarah Susanka. TNSBH changes the way people think about the American home…and gives homeowners the language to ask for what they want: a house that values quality over quantity and that emphasizes comfort, beauty and a high level of detail. It really impacted my perspective on how we were living in our house and how I was living in my life (She also wrote The Not So Big Life).

Sarah describes how people have huge houses and barely use their space. We had 3,200 sq ft and two major rooms sat empty – the back study and the front dining room. The front dining room was the only room that got direct sun light (which I crave) as did my study – where I spent the majority of my time. During our 10 years there, we used the rooms in different ways, but in the last few years, things changed and we couldn’t quite get it up to comfort, despite my constant efforts.

Sarah writes of using one’s “formal” living room for entertaining “guests”. When you are first getting to know people, you sit there. If you like them, where does everyone go? The family room or the kitchen. If you don’t, you stay in the “formal” living room. So, in essence, you have now spent a lot of money on a room for people you don’t even like! What if you reframed that all guests were welcomed (that is why they are there in the first place) and you had one room that everyone gathered in – a warm room that was just the right size, used often and was near the kitchen. One friend put a ping pong table in her “formal living room” and turned it into a game room – we sit in the family room, attached to her kitchen or on the patio, amidst an amazing urban oasis.

I liked that idea. There are only 3 of us. And I wanted rooms with sunlight, cozy but big enough to sit with friends and a small back yard that enveloped us with trees and birds. I’m not a yard work person. And while our old house looked great from the front, the back of the house required a lot of work and over looked a parking lot. I hated it. Lucky for me, my husband concurred.

According to David Sanders, my Kabbalah teacher (www.kabbalhexpereince.com), a house isn’t really just a house. It’s a metaphor. It can look good outside, but not be good inside. Or it can put on a good front (curb appeal) but not have any substance inside. Perhaps the basement is cluttered, dark and messy, stuffed full of old boxes and things that could be cleaned out and let go of. Maybe it is perfect and everything is in its’ place and if someone sits on the couch, you freak…

Who are you? How do you feel? How does your home reflect the state of your life?

As the week progressed, I felt better and by Friday, I made peace and realized that everything happens for a reason. I could see that everyone inside the house was working really hard toward completion and that they were in good spirits doing high quality work. That moving slowly vs rushing to get it all done in a short amount of time was also a metaphor for how I wanted to be. Someone who slowed down and stop over-doing. A person of quality and ease.

On Friday, Chris, our GC, offered to power wash the back patio for us, revealing beautiful stone pavers with pieces of pottery and colored glass embedded in the grout. It sparkled in the sun. Chris is good at revealing/creating homes and making them sparkle. If you live in Denver, and have been thinking of making some home changes, jot down the number for Vintage Homes on the sign in the house picture of last week’s posting (or email me and I’ll give it to you) and give Chris a call. Read Sarah’s book and perhaps you, too, will find ways to make your house, and your life, Not So Big.

Then, think of all the time you’ll have to visit with family and friends. After all, as my dear and wise friend Ellen says, “ Its’ the experiences and moments that make our lives rich. Not the stuff.”

How do you MindFULLY create a not so big home and life? Let us know!

4 Simple Steps

They finally finished painting the outside of the house! What a difference some paint makes. There is still touch up to be done (front porch and door), but it finally feels happier, in spite of the gray day we took the picture on. Coming soon, flower boxes and chairs!

I was going to write about progress on the inside of the house today, but given it’s under wraps this week as they prep for paint, I thought I’d take the opportunity to share some words of wisdom that came across my desk last week, instead.

I needed them. It was a rough week. Everything we ordered, months ago, came in with some issue attached to it. I felt frustrated and worn down. Things I had crossed off my list had to be re-attended to. They moved our finish date back a week.

Alas, in my heart I know it will all get done and most days I flow with it. However, with so much on my plate right now, some days I find myself over thinking a lot of things and reacting to situations that I would normally blow off. I think it’s a hormonal cocktail of life, change and rain. I feel shaken, not stirred.

As such, when Yehuda Berg’s daily email (www.kabbalah-tune-up.com) appeared, I laughed. Ah, a cool drink of water…a Happy Hour for the spirit.

More often than not, our first reaction is to over-complicate things. But the spirit is not complicated, the spirit is simple.

If you find yourself over-thinking a situation, detangle yourself with these 4, simple steps.

1. Acknowledge it’s from a power beyond you, sent for your benefit

2. Identify your reaction

3. Resist letting the response take over, listen for the quiet voice of unity & positive resolution

4. Act & speak with dignity

Cheers!

How often do you MindFULLY need to learn or remember something and you stumble across just the right message? Let us know!